SueTube – Let’s talk TV with critic Susan Young

Sometimes a kiss is just a kiss.

At least that’s the story Fantasia Barrino gave out to nosey critics on Friday.

A few weeks ago at the BET Awards, the two got into some major tongue lashing during a duet of “DJ Play a Love Song.”

“He asked me if he could kiss me and I said OK,” Barrino said after a session pushing her Lifetime movie, “Fantasia Barrino: Life is Not a Fairy Tale” based on her autobiography.

Nothing more to it, she insists. And she also says she “already has a friend.”

Could it be a Foxxy friend?

Am I wrong in thinking that when you put up a big honkin’ Stargate, the grounds should be flooded with NBC Universal stars?

I didn’t think so.

I’ve got nothing against the cast of “Stargate SG-1” celebrating their 10th season this month. And it was swell seeing Ben Browder cruising the crowd with his wife.

But couldn’t they have sent just a few of “The 4400”? Like Oakland-born and Hayward-raised Mahershalalhashbaz Ali?

(His last name was Gilmore during his school days.)

Anyway, it was a mostly civilized gathering out on the lawn at the Ritz Carlton in Pasadena even without Tony “Monk” Shalhoub.

But no penguins, which made me start playing the “Wings” game at the party. See, “Wings” alum Crystal Bernard was at the Hallmark penguin party the night before promoting her movie.

Which made me think about Tim Daly starring in the new ABC series “The Nine.” And Steven Weber in the new NBC series “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.”

Which all just means that there wasn’t much at the party to capture my attention. Except the gigantic Stargate and my wish to be transported out of the party.

“We didn’t do any press when all the things were going down with Tom Cruise, because you didn’t want to be in a headline with him and start getting that Tom Cruise stink on you,” says Matt Stone.

He’s referring of course to the controversial Emmy-nominated episode of “South Park,” “Trapped in the Closet,” that slaps around Cruise and his beliefs on Scientology. The episode will air again July 19.

Stone and “South Park” co-creator Trey Parker took the stage at the TV critics press tour today to talk about the 10^th anniversary of the show.

Of course, all we wanted to talk about was the Cruise episode.

Despite the jeopardy of getting some Cruise stink on them, we wanted to know if it was true that Isaac Hayes gave up his role as Chef because they took aim at his religion of Scientology.

Parker says Hayes asked that they not do the episode. They did the episode. They heard he was going to quit over it. They weren’t surprised when he did. But he was surprised when Hayes started attacking them

“Chef hasn’t been a big part of the show for years, ” Parker said. “So we thought he quit, that’s the end of it. Then he called us bigots and we thought, wow, you thought the show was fine until now and suddenly we are bigots?

“So, game on mother (word they can’t even say on ‘South Park’).”

And the boys are really tweaked about the Mohammed episode last season. The network refused to let them show Mohammed after the uproar with the Dutch cartoon lead to threats of violence.

“Four years ago, we showed Mohammed could turn himself into Superbeaver, and that episode has rerun on Comedy Central and in syndication, but now we can’t?” Parker said. “So a new taboo was created out of nothing.”

And Stone pointed out that “South Park” could show Jesus defecating on President Bush, and any number of outrageous things, but not show a picture of Mohammed.

“It’s open season on Jesus,” Parker says sarcastically. “You can do anything to Jesus on TV.”

They arrived in a limo in their own tuxedos.

Yes, it has come down to this. TV critics were more interested in real penguins than in semi-real actors.

The Hallmark Channel put on the party at the pool with fake ice floating in the pool and the penguin duo marching down the green carpet.

One seemed more interested in humping the trainer’s arm than in schmoozing with the crowd, which is much like his human actor counterparts.

Just before the party, Adrian Grenier, who plays Vince the sexy up-and-coming actor on “Entourage,” was putting the moves on some young woman who appeared at the press session. He was much smoother than the penguin and almost as cute.

The Hallmark party rolled out the are-you-still-alive actors who populate the cable network’s movies. Marty Ingels, who had a limited career as a comic actor, has stayed in the semi-spotlight for years as the husband of actress Shirley Jones.

You know? Oscar winner. OK, she was the mom on “The Partridge Family.”

Marty thought it was funny to walk with her waving a sign that said, “Emmy Nominee.” Shirley tended to ignore him, as did most of the folks at the party.

Later at the post-party party, J-Lo’s ex – I know, it’s hard to keep track – Cris Judd is now the host of the new WE reality series “Dirty Dancing.”

We didn’t want to talk to Cris. He wore a yellow jacket and seemed a bit dance-challenged up against some of the pros twirling on the dance floor.

There are parties, and then there are post-party parties.

The Game Show Network booked the roof of the garage and turned it into Malibu for their P-P-P.

You know, giant screen plasma with crashing waves, lots of tiki torches, outdoor fire pits, an old Airstream trailer, s’mores and, of course, Danny Bonaduce.

What the heck would we do without Danny?

He’s completely insane, totally driven and always quotable.

“My wife and I used to get worried if I wasn’t in the tabloids,” Danny says. “There were literally weeks where I was on the front page of every tabloid in the supermarket.”

So, did it bother him?

“Are you kidding me?” Danny says. “You can’t buy that kind of publicity.”

When word got out that “Deadwood” wouldn’t be coming back for a full season, HBO head Chris Albrecht says he got his share of hate mail.

His favorite?

“Well, one e-mail said ‘May you never take an easy dump again’ ” Chris says.

Everyone eager to see the final episodes of “The Sopranos” are going to have to wait a while longer.

HBO Chairman Chris Albrecht told critics today that “Rome” will go into that spot in January, with “The Sopranos” coming back “later.”

How later?

Well, maybe March. And the reason? Chris mumbled something about James Gandolfini’s leg surgery. But also made the point that creator/writer David Chase follows his own time table.

When a reporter in the back of the room wanted Chris to tell the critics if Tony lives or dies, the stunned executive replied, “Are you high?”

Chris did say that he knew what David Chase had told him, but he wasn’t going to believe anything until after he’d seen the final scripts.

He did promise the viewers would not be disappointed. We’re hoping that if it’s still Christmas when “The Sopranos” returns, someone will get a big whack for the holidays.

Sadly, I missed the Style party. Darn those feature story demands. But, hey, Keyshia Cole of Oakland was worth it.

But “America’s Next Top Model” judge Jay Manuel decided to come on over to the GSN rooftop post-party-party. He was willing to chat, but the trio of critics I was with were about talked-out.

Into the breach I go.

He’s a swell guy, but when he can’t tell you where the next cycle is taking place (“I’m under contract not to say. But you can find it on any Web site.”), it can make you want to grab his spiky blond hair and yank it.

C’mon J-boy, don’t make me have to google you.

“Look at my tan,” he says with the big hint-hint. “I got it where we were taping.”

Oh, that narrows it down to NOT ANTARCTICA.

He did say that the new models are taller than the last cycles’ shorties. But then defended the height impaired former “ANTM” hopefuls.
“You know, Kate Moss is short,” says the sweet Jay, who was actually trying to talk about his new E! show “Style Her Famous” instead of “ANTM.”

Nice try Jay.

Former “The Cosby Show” kid Raven-Symone hit the stage at the TV critics press tour to promote “The Cheetah Girls 2.”

And not the Cosby Show.

When someone asked if she still kept in touch with Bill Cosby, Raven-Symone, billed as “recording artist, executive producer and star, dodged the question.

“We are talking about Disney,” the all-business R-S says. “That’s NBC. No, I’m just playing. No, no,no. I hear through the grapevine that he watches some of my work, but I don’t talk to him as much as I should. We’re all very busy in this industry.”

Short answer: No, she doesn’t.

Nick Nolte, whose famous mug shot after getting busted has turned up on practically every Web site in the world, says he doesn’t mind.

“I even put it on my Web site,” says the off-center Nolte, who says he’s building up his www.nicknolte.com site. “I’m also doing my biography on there, a living, breathing one that changes.”

Nolte’s wild picture from his 2002 arrest for driving under the influence is on the home page, along with his 1962 mug shot for selling fake draft cards.

The wacky actor — is that an oxymoron? — was in Pasadena Monday afternoon for the summer Television Critics Association press tour. He’s the narrator of the documentary “Buy the Ticket, Take the Ride: Hunter S. Thompson on Film” set to air in November on Starz.

Nolte told a small group of critics after his session that he’s basically retired, living in Malibu. He says he’s in his “Marlon Brando” stage where he usually wears wrap-around sarongs.

“I don’t wear any underwear,” he says in response to a tabloid reporter’s nosy question. “Sarongs are like Scottish kilts. Nothing underneath.”

He was wearing a more conservative shirt, loose jacket and very baggy slacks that covered his feet. On his feet were slippers.

“Yeah, I forgot to bring shoes when I came here,” Nolte says, looking a bit shaggy in a full white beard. “I had to borrow these.”