First, let’s just say that those censors had their work cut out for them tonight. At first, I thought it was just because something was going wacky with the East Coast telecast I was watching.
And to think when we wrote about the Emmys going Code Blue, we thought it would just be a little Emmy winning song by Justin Timberlake. Justin was a no-show, but the Code Blue was in full effect.
First, Ray Romano, who seemed to think he was playing some comedy club, got a little frisky with language associated with having sexual relations when he accused his “Everybody Loves Raymond” wife Patricia Heaton of bestowing her favors on Kelsey Grammer, who plays her former lover on the new Fox series “Back to You.”
That got blacked out.
Then you had sweet Katherine Heigl mouthing a profanity when she was named Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama. Oh, Katie, Katie, Katie.
Things kept going black and there were a lot of cutaways. You know when Jon Stewart gets away with saying bastard on primetime that the words others were saying had to be pretty bad.
Sally Field? Well, at least the ill-fated Oscar speech of “You like me. You really like me” now takes a back seat to her acceptance speech when she started forgetting her lines and ended with having the lord damn….well, we’re not sure what because it all went black.
Here’s a list of the winners, which didn’t include the big Sopranos win I had predicted. Look, if I could see into the future, I’d be living in Las Vegas right now.
Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy:
Jeremy Piven won again for his work as Ari, the abrasive agent in “Entourage.” You can’t argue with giving the statue to Piven, because he was great.
Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama:
Terry O’Quinn, who did a swell job as Locke in “Lost,” didn’t get my vote however. (I did like his speech in which he said that when he’s “rolling in the muc” he thinks about the “Desperate Housewives” baking cookies on Wisteria Lane. And getting a better paycheck. Yet, he still believes he has the best job in the world.
I chose Michael Imperioli because I thought, hey, last chance with “The Sopranos.” Guess the Emmy voters didn’t care.
Outstanding Actress in a Comedy:
Jaime Pressly of “My Name is Earl” took home the trophy and looked fabulous.
Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Miniseries/movie:
Thomas Haden Church for AMC’s “Broken Trail.” If you didn’t see the miniseries, you missed out on a great ride. Church choked us up with his teary tribute to his dad, who gave him his love for Westerns, and to “Wings” producer David Angell and his wife, who died on one of the planes on Sept. 11. But why does he insist on talking about his need to pee?
Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama:
Katherine Heigl takes home the statue. “My own mother said I didn’t have a shot in hell of winning this,” she says. Mom looked a little shocked, but it all worked out in the end.
Outstanding Writing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Series:
Late Night with Conan O’Brien”
Outstanding Directing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Program:
Rob Marshall for “Tony Bennett: An American Classic” on NBC.
Outstanding Lead Actor in a miniseries/ movie:
Who else? The man, Robert Duvall. First Emmy win, because he lost out in his first nomination in 1989 for “Lonesome Dove.” Duvall paid presenter Kiefer Sutherland a compliment for being “a good horseman.” Which he is. Everybody loves a Western, as Duvall says, “the Western is here to stay.” So let’s start making more.
Outstanding Miniseries, Movie or Dramatic Special:
Outstanding Directing for a Drama Series:
Alan Taylor, “The Sopranos.”
Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series:
David Chase, “The Sopranos.”
Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Program:
“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart”
Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Special:
“Tony Bennett: An American Classic”
Outstanding Supporting Actress in a miniseries/movie:
Judy Davis, “The Starter Wife.” Not here, but sure she’ll be thrilled, ”says Marcia Cross.
Outstanding Made for Television Movie:
“Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee.” Producer Dick Wolf, who thanked his very pregnant wife for not going into labor.
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Miniseries or movie:
Helen Mirren in “Prime Suspect: The Final Act.” “Oh, come on music. I’ve been talking enough.” Never enough, Helen.
Outstanding Directing for a miniseries/movie:
Phillip Martin “Prime Suspect”
Outstanding Writing for a miniseries/ movie:
Philip Deasy, “Prime Suspect”
Outstanding Individual Performance in a Individual Performance in a Variety, etc. :
Outstanding Directing in a Comedy Series:
Richard Shepard, “Ugly Betty”
Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series:
Greg Daniels, “The Office” Can we be any happier?
Outstanding Reality Competition Series:
“Amazing Race” wins again. Guess the category wasn’t fixed despite the Emmys being on Fox.
Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy series:
Ricky Gervais, “Extras.” He wasn’t there, so Stewart says, “Ricky Gervais couldn’t be here tonight, so instead we’re giving it to our friend Steve Carell.” Who should have won it in the first place.
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series:
Sally Field. YEAH! Nice speech too until she started getting applause from those who thought she was done. She should have quit while she was ahead.
“I have to finish talking,” she says, then couldn’t remember what she wanted to say about the war. She babbled on until saying that “If mothers ruled the world, there wouldn’t be any God d…(blanked out of my broadcast).”
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series:
America Ferrera in her first Emmy win. Couldn’t happen to a nicer person. My only regret is that I didn’t go with my gut instinct and put her down as the winner.
Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series:
OK, the one guy I never thought would win it. James Spader, who won it for the same role on “The Practice.” But he gave a great speech. “I feel like I just stole a pile of money from the mob.” “I’ve been to a lot of concerts and these are the worst seats I’ve ever had.”
Outstanding Comedy Series:
“30 Rock” “I’d like to thank our dozens and dozens of viewers” says creator/star Tina Fey. Maybe there will be dozens and dozens more now.
Outstanding Drama Series:
Finally, Helen Mirren spins around the stage with the name of the series, “The Sopranos.”
OK, I finally got one right.