SueTube – Let’s talk TV with critic Susan Young

J.J. Abrams has long professed his love of “The Twilight Zone” and, while he didn’t write this week’s episode, you knew this had to have his stamp of approval.

Creator Damon Lindelof has said that some characters only exist to serve other characters, and that seems to be the fate of Nikki and Paulo.

On one hand, we had the little “Zone” homage about how this wicked couple pays dearly for their crimes. On the other, we have another view of the events that have unfolded since the crash.

But what I thought was the most significant scene was between Ben and Juliet in the hatch, monitoring Jack and plotting how to get Jack to do the surgery on Ben.

Paulo knew that Jack, Kate and Sawyer would be kidnapped by The Others. Interesting.

Nikki stumbles out of the jungle, falling down in front of Sawyer and Hurley

In any event, the episode ended in typical “Twilight Zone” fashion with the two getting buried alive – a just punishment for two murderers.

And now we’ll find out how Sawyer, and Charlie, will pay for their role in kidnapping Sun after Charlie confessed all to Sun.

Sun slaps Sawyer after finding out he is the one who kidnapped her.

Next week, Sawyer gets slapped with the reality of being selfish, while Kate and Juliet spend some quality time together.

The week after, Jack returns to the Lost tribe and brings Juliet with him.

I don’t trust Juliet, and I think she’s still playing a game on Jack with the help of Ben. But maybe that’s just me.

Let’s discuss.

So it’s bye-bye Mr. American Idol Sligh.

Chris Sligh, the only other guy outside of Sanjaya to bring any kind of non-singing sparkle to the show has been given the hook.

Haley Scarnato (L) shows a sigh of relief after Chris Sligh (R) is eliminated on AMERICAN IDOL Wednesday

Sligh man, why oh why did you try to do No Doubt’s “Don’t Speak”? It was a song obviously beyond your reach. We’ll miss you, and your saucy style.

And yes, we heard you when you loudly whispered to Phil Stacey that he owed you 50 bucks. Apparently, Phil believed he was set to go before you did.

Don’t worry Phil. There’s always next week.

As for the Sanjaya freight train, or should I say fright train?, it’s still going strong. We don’t mind if he stays on the show while the bottom and middle rung people are voted off.

Please, just stop the insanity before we get to Melinda, LaKisha, Jordin, Blake and even Chris.

Last night, Simon looked at Sanjaya and said, “It doesn’t really matter what we say anymore.”

That’s right Simon. The Sanjaya train is on the track and barrelling through this competition.

So I’ve decided to take another view of Sanjaya. To tell you the truth, without the Sanjaya factor, it would be a rather dull season.

Mr. Pony-Hawk has little singing talent, but he’s great when it comes to entertainment.

PONY BOY

First, let’s say how great Gwen Stefani was last night. She looked fabulous (where can we find that top?) and her comments were spot on. She gave a little shrug when it came to Sanjaya. She knows he’s become the clown in the circus.

GWEN LOOKED GREAT

And she acknowledged that both Melinda and LaKisha don’t really need her help, although I think everyone can use a little Stefani in their life.

I still love Melinda’s voice, but her aw-shucks attitude is getting a little stale. Embrace your talent and go a little diva. Time to shed the meek and start adding some dazzle.

And LaKisha needs to get some personality into her performances.

If you want to put a little more Sanjaya into your life, check out www.sanjayafannetwork.com.

Web master Clint says “ It was designed with the hopes that we can all influence American Idol and make an otherwise dull season more interesting and perhaps see if Simon Cowell will really quit.”

I don’t want Simon to quit, but a little tweaking is always fun.

Stephanie Edwards says she believe everyone left on “American Idol” deserves to be there.

Even Sanjaya Malakar, who has become the darling of www.votefortheworst.com and has Howard Stern urging his listeners to vote for him in order to tweak the “Idol” results.

“None of the contestants ever talked about (the Sanjaya controversy),” Stephanie says after she was ousted from the competition last week. “I believe everyone in the top 10 deserves to be there. We are all good singers, now it’s just about America voting for their favorites.”

But when pressed, she admitted that while she wasn’t surprised she was in the bottom, she never expected to see Chris Richardson standing next to her.

“I kind of figured I was going to be in the bottom, but then I saw Chris and thought this is a crazy bottom two,” Stephanie says. “I’m OK. Now.”

Getting the boot means Stephanie won’t get to go on tour because only the top 10 go. But she’s able to record a track on the “American Idol” CD.

STEPHANIE SINGING ON TUESDAY NIGHT

For us, the shock still hasn’t worn off over seeing Stephanie and Justin Timberlake-like Chris standing in the final 2 last Wednesday while Sanjaya and other lesser lights were safe.

We believe Haley Scarnato’s barely there silk blouse promising a potential wardrobe malfunction may have saved her through this round.

HALEY PUT IT ALL OUT THERE ON TUESDAY

Singers really put it all on the line because making it into the top 10 meant tour time and a great potential for getting a recording deal.

Stephanie says she still hopes to get a recording contract, and that the one thing she wishes viewers could have seen was her goofy side.

“I’m not as mature as they think I am, but I guess I seemed mature,” says the gracious 19-year-old. “(The audience) didn’t get to see the goofy side of me because (`American Idol’) never showed that.”

And she says that she’s actually glad that the show was running long, so the television audience didn’t have to see her crying as she performed for the last time in front of the judges, the other contestants and the studio audience.

STEPHANIE BEFORE SHE SANG FOR THE STUDIO AUDIENCE

Stephanie, you were a class act and we’ll miss you. But we don’t think this is the last we’ll hear of you.

The darling of convention crowd for years, the actor formerly known as Agent Mulder is coming back to series TV.

David Duchovny stars in a yet-untitled project set to air on Showtime. Called a “stylish new comedy” in the network’s press release, Showtime has ordered 12 episodes scheduled to premiere in August.

David not only stars, but also produces the series wich will co-star Natascha McElhone (“The Truman Show”), Madeleine Martin (“Law & Order: Special Victims Unit,” “Hope & Faith”), Madeline Zima (“The Nanny,” A Cinderella Story), and Evan Handler (“Sex and the City”).

The comedy centers on novelist Hank Moody (Duchovny) who struggles to raise his 13-year-old daughter (Madeleine Martin), while still carrying a torch for his ex-girlfriend Karen (McElhone). His obsession with truth-telling and self-destructive behavior – drinks, drugs and relationships – are both destroying and enriching his career.

If “American Idol” was really a singing competition, then Sanjaya would have gotten the boot tonight.

His performance on Tuesday of “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” wasn’t even good enough for an elementary school talent contest. When he reached up high and squatted down low, it’s was cookie-tossin’ time.

So who got bumped tonight?

The bottom three were called out: Sanjaya, Phil and Brandon.

We had no problem with the voters’ bottom three until the person being elminated was called out and it was Brandon.

Well, at least Sanjaya didn’t forget the words the way Brandon did on Tuesday. Brandon was one of the early bright lights who dimmed significantly as he constantly made poor song choices.

BRANDON ROGERS

Good-bye Brandon. Would that it was Sanjaya we were bidding adieu.

It’s been years since I first talked to comic Richard Jeni, but no one who had ever met him could forget how much he made you laugh.

Few comics are happy-go-lucky people, it just doesn’t go with the territory. Richard was no exception. He had his demons and his doubts. It takes a different kind of person to step up on stage all alone night after night pouring out your guts – and getting heckled in the process.

This past weekend, Richard’s demons overtook him and he died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound. His family released this statement:

“Often times, when we are faced with a sudden and tragic loss, there is a natural curiosity – a need to know what exactly happened.

The family of Richard Jeni would like to put to rest any assumptions as to the cause of Richard’s death. Despite the fact that the coroner’s office has publicly stated that a suicide ruling will take two weeks, pending the results of an autopsy, Richard Jeni did take his own life.

Rumors have been circulating as to the cause of his death and have included speculation of Richard being depressed over the state of his career or a physical ailment. His career was not even addressed by his specialists when they were trying to diagnose Richard’s illness. In fact, he had just enjoyed one of his most financially rewarding years to date. He was consistently creating new material for his busy touring schedule, and during the last week of his life, he had meetings scheduled with Chris Albrecht, the president of HBO, to discuss future projects following his last HBO special. In actuality, the past few years had been more prolific than ever. As his agents can attest, prior to his illness, Richard only missed one engagement in over twenty years, and that was due to weather.

The truth is: earlier this year Richard Jeni was diagnosed with severe clinical depression coupled with bouts of psychotic paranoia. One only needs to have a family member or friend with a mental illness to understand that there is nothing rational, predictable, or fair about these diseases. Mental illness is as serious as any physical affliction and can be just as devastating.

He was not down or blue, he was ill. If you knew Richard, you could understand, this was as much a shock to those close to him, as it is to his fans and colleagues. Perhaps Richard’s passing will encourage people to have sympathy, compassion and understanding for those who are afflicted with mental illness. As we are all trying to make sense of this, take time to remember the joy and laughter Richard brought to the countless people he touched during his much too short life.”

Let’s put this under the category of too-much-information.

Aging rocker Gene Simmons of KISS fame and his common law wife Shannon Tweed have decided to do dual face-lifts and bare it all in the new season of “Gene Simmons Family Jewels,” premiering with back-to-back episodes at 9 p.m. March 25 on A&E.

Could this sound any more pathetic?

Well, let’s go on. Viewers get an “uncensored” look at their plastic surgeries from pre-op to post-op, including the couple’s long road to recovery.

According to today’s press release, the new season will show whether Gene and Shannon can continue to be “Happily Unmarried” after more than 20 years together, Nick preparing to leave for college, Sophie fast becoming a young lady, and Shannon’s determination to have another baby – “all while Gene is living the life of a Rock God.”

Rock god? That ship has sailed, my friend.

“Survivor” is getting too painful to watch.

It’s one thing to plop wanna-be Trumps into backyard tents on “The Apprentice.” It’s quite another to watch starving people get weaker and weaker while another team just keeps getting fatter and more smug.

Perhaps things will change when “Survivor” returns on March 21 (it’s getting bumped for basketball).

But this past week’s show was agonizing to watch. When an intellectual like Yau Man can’t even remember numbers and words in a match game, you know that the lack of nourishment is taking its toll.

Michelle looks like she can barely make it through the day, much less compete in challenges.

Starvin’ Michelle Yi, of the Ravu tribe tries to fend off beefy Lisette “Lisi” Linares, of the Moto tribe, during the immunity challenge, “Kung Fu Cannibals

Enough already.

Does Sanjaya Malakar have some mysterious mojo going or what?

Clearly, he was the worst of the bunch this week, yet Breck Boy was spared by voters who decided to pop him into the final dozen.

Perhaps it was his newly straighten locks.

Or seeing him do the hula.

Still, even dirty Internet pictures couldn’t save the vocally challenged Antonella Barba, who got the boot despite being one of the most Googled contestant perhaps in the history of the show.

ANTONELLA SANG CORINNE BAILEY RAE’S “PUT YOUR RECORDS ON”

There had been ample speculation that Antonella would slip into the final 12 just on the basis of her looks. But she proved less resilient than the aforementioned Sanjaya.

Clearly from the judges’ perspective this week, the other woman who needed to go was Haley Scarnato. Simon said that he had to ask Paula what her name was because he honestly couldn’t remember it.

Apparently, the voters didn’t share Simon’s lack of recall.

Instead, they lopped off the Barbra Streisand look-alike Sabrina Sloan, who hit it hard each week and appeared to be a shoo-in.

SABRINA SANG EN VOGUE’S “DON’T LET GO”

Also getting the hook this week was Jared Cotter, who proved to be a little too cheesy for the voters.

JARED SANG STEVIE WONDER’S “IF YOU REALLY LOVE ME”

And finally, just when we thought we’d see the last of Sunjaya, the name called out was Sundance Head.

SUNDANCE SANG PEARL JAM’S “JEREMY”

Sundance has had his problems in the competition, but we didn’t think it was quite his time to go yet.

As for the big announcement “American Idol” has been touting all week, it turns out that “American Idol” is ready to share the wealth with those less fortunate.

“American Idol” will helping poverty-stricken people throughout the world including Africa and America.

On April 24 and 25, for every vote viewers cast, an equal amount of money will be donated to the charity. In addition, show sponsors Coca-Cola, Ford and AT&T, among others will donate money to the Chairty Projects Entertainment Fund.

The fund will distribute the money to Save the Children and other U.S. organizations dealing with poverty in this country. CPEF will also distribute proceeds to the U.S. Fund for UNICEF and other organizations involved with health and education programs in Africa.

Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest meet school children in Africa.

On April 25, the Wednesday results show expands to two hours, with entertainment provided by such celebrities as Gwen Stefani, Josh Groban, Pink, Michael Buble, Annie Lennox, Il Divo and Borat (Sacha Baron Cohen).