SueTube – Let’s talk TV with critic Susan Young

The show is being described as “The Devil Wears Prada” meets “The Assistant” and it comes from Tyra Banks and Ken Mok, who teamed up for “America’s Next Top Model.” The new cycle of ANTM starts Feb. 20.

Miss Tyra Banks of “America’s Next Top Model” is looking for contestants for her next reality show.

Bottom line, do you want to enter the fashion world as a minion?

“It is a competition show about aspiring assistants looking to become assistant editors at a fashion magazine,” says Mok. “At the same time they’re trying to prove themselves as aspiring fashionistas, that they have a sense of style and savvyness, all the things to make it in the fashion world.”

Open auditions will be held this Saturday, February 9, at the Hilton San Francisco Financial District, 750 Kearny St. from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Written applications will be available for download here. , however it’s not required that you have a completed application in order to audition. Applicants must be between 18 and 27 at the time of application.

According to an article in the Hollywood Reporter, Eli Holzman, who developed “Project Runway” at Miramax TV, and the show’s executive producers Jane Cha and Desiree Gruber, fashion experts and managers of “Runway” host Heidi Klum, came up the initial idea for the new series and pitched it to the CW.

The network in turn suggested a collaboration with Banks and Mok in mounting the production because of Banks’ background as a supermodel and the duo’s experience in the fashion reality genre with “Top Model.”

Banks, Mok, Holzman, Cha and Gruber will executive produce the series, which has received an eight-episode order and will begin production in April for a launch in late spring or summer.

With ratings like these, if the CW was a TV show, it would have been cancelled long ago.

The barely breathing network trotted out its new game plan today, with the family-in-Africa drama “Life is Wild” missing. If you don’t know what show I’m talking about, don’t worry. Very few viewers ever tuned it. In fact, if you gathered all the regular viewers together they probably wouldn’t even make a noticible line in Starbucks.

Penn Badgley as Dan and Blake Lively as Serena star in Gossip Girl on The CW. Photo Eric Liebowitz /The CW

Not that they don’t have some great shows. “Gossip Girl” is a great guilty pleasure, and although “Reaper”never again rose to the level of its fantastic pilot, it’s still not a bad show.

Enough pitching. Here’s the line-up:

Monday

8 p.m. “GOSSIP GIRL” (Beginning January 28)

9 p.m. “PUSSYCAT DOLLS PRESENT: GIRLICIOUS” (Beginning February 18)

Tuesday

8 p.m. “REAPER” (Beginning January 15)

8 p.m. “BEAUTY AND THE GEEK” (Beginning March 11)

9 p.m. “ONE TREE HILL” Wednesday (Beginning February 20)

8 p.m. “AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL”

9 p.m. “PUSSYCAT DOLLS PRESENT: GIRLICIOUS”

Encore

Thursday

8 p.m. “SMALLVILLE”

9 p.m. “REAPER” (Beginning February 28)

Sunday (Beginning February 10)

7 p.m. “CW NOW”

7:30 p.m. “EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS” Encores

8 p.m. “EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS”

8:30 p.m. “ALIENS IN AMERICA”

9 p.m. “GIRLFRIENDS”

9:30 p.m. “THE GAME”

Yeah, like you didn’t know before.

The tight bond between Saleisha and Tyra came out right in the beginning, when we learned the two knew each other through Tyra’s program for girls with low self-esteem. For all the details, check out Jezebel.

This year’s “ANTM” has been nothing short of dreadful. If it wasn’t for Heather, I would have passed away from sheer boredom and it was all I could do to hang in for the ending. We knew Saleisha was a shoo-in for the final two, if not the winner.

How? Just look at that group picture that is shown at the end of each week. When the girl gets eliminated, they are airbrushed out. I dare anyone to look at that picture and figure out which girl was Jenah and which girl was Chantal.

You just couldn’t have identical twins standing there for the final judgment. And talking about judging, I don’t think I was the only one who noticed the obvious knock on snippy sour grape girl Jenah. Each of the models took on separate fruity Cover Girl scents. Chantal got lemon, Saleisha got tangerine and Jenah got (sour) grape.

Saleisha let her nerves get the better of her during the filming of the commercial

As snotty as Jenah was this season, sweet Chantal took a sour turn when she put the smack on Jenah in front of the judges. Tyra asked each to say who should win, and who shouldn’t. Chantal went all personal, saying that she didn’t think Jenah was the kind of person she wanted her little sister to look up to.

Chantal had some skirt issues on the runway

She obviously hit below the bikini line with that one, especially since Jenah revealed that she had to take on the mantle of mom to her own sisters due to an absent mother. Still, even with her tears we couldn’t warm to Jenah.

Despite the judges praising Saleisha for her fierce pose near the Great Wall of China, we just don’t see high fashion with her. She did fine on the runway, but let’s be honest. She doesn’t have the willowy body needed for high fashion.

God graced Chantal with a perfect model bod, and while we agree she needs some work, she has the basic building materials. Saleisha will always be a cute little cover girl, which is fine given the sponsor of this show.

Just don’t call it “Top Model.” Check out each one this week and see who you think had the best picture:

Saleisha puts the lie to the old phrase you can never be too thin. Her dress just hangs on her here.

Chantal looked stunningly stiff in this shot

Jenah has an old-fashioned starlet quality about her

Next cycle sees Twiggy bidding a fond farewell as judge, with Paulina Porizkova coming on in her place. I’d love to see different judges all the way around. Noted fashion photographer Nigel Barker looked like he wanted out all season long, and by the end I hoped his wish would be granted. Love Miss J, but enough with the stupid gimmicks like the growing Afro and last cycle’s expanding neck ring. Let’s take a break.

Time to get an all-new panel Pictured left to right: J. Alexander, Twiggy, Tyra Banks and a very bored Nigel Barker Photo: Elizabeth Carrillo/The CW ©

Of course, my top pick for expulsion would be Tyra herself. She’s gotten worse each year, and this season’s talk show cry-fests got out of hand. At the beginning, she had that poor girl who didn’t make the cut talk about being abused growing up. Then she makes Jenah crack her tough veneer only to send her on her way too.

Miss Attitude Jenah

Things better heat up next season, or I’m bailing.

Reality show recruiters are coming to the Bay Area, and we’ve got the 4-1-1 right here:

Amazing Race Casting Call

Saturday, December 8

10am to 2pm

Metro PCS

3963 Stevens Creek Blvd.
(between Saratoga and Kiely)

Santa Clara

For more information, and to download an application form go
here.

“America’s Next Top Model”
Saturday, December 15

10am-2pm

San Francisco Institute of Esthetics and Cosmetology

1067 Folsom between 6th and 7th Sts.

San Francisco

Applicants must arrive with a completed application. Application and complete eligibility requirements available at here.

In addition, at this casting call, applicants will also be given the option of having their audition automatically submitted into the “America’s Next Top Model: The Bay Area Search” competition.

The local competition offers a chance to win a makeover, photo session. Full-page spread in the SF Chronicle and an in-person audition with ANTM casting director, Michelle Mock. Check it out here.

Once the off-kilter Heather got kicked to the curb last week, my interest in “America’s Next Top Model” has waned.

Heather’s my ANTM

But, hey. We’re in the home stretch. Gotta make it work. Whoops, wrong show.

Tonight, Tyra got to play photographer again as she shot the four finalists at the Great Wall of China. Might as well called it the Great Wall of Whine-as. Jenah got all teary over missing her boyfriend and her little sisters. Wah, wah, wah…I’m so pretty, why does life have to be so hard on me? Get thee to a Burger King, baby, if you want to stick around town.

Saleisha, who looked like she might be shown the door early on in the competition, flashed real top model potential tonight. Her photos were fierce and she came out kicking. Our money’s on her for making it to the top model spot.

Saleisha Photo: James Wade

Chantal’s all perky and pretty, but I just can’t see what the judges see in her or her pictures. When the end credits roll and we see that picture with the ousted model taken out of the picture, I’m always struck by the fact that I can’t tell Chantal from Jenah.

But justice was served tonight. I’m so over nasty Bianca, especially when she thought she was cute and misdirected Jenahto the wrong side of the mall. Oh, go over there, you can’t miss out on all the great stuff. Oh, Miss Attitude, that’s what ended up biting you in the backside tonight.

Bianca, karma’s a bitch and so are you.

Bah-bye B.

Ding-dong the witch is gone

I meant to blog about ANTM on Wednesday, but there were pies to bake and turkey to thaw…you know the drill.

It was a little sad to see Lisa go, because I was hoping to see her in the top tier. Instead, she got the boot. Lisa came a long way from her exotic dancer roots, but she started a downward spiral on the show that she just couldn’t control.

The girls traveled to Shanghai, China and at the Shanghai Film Studio their first challenge was to learn some martial arts poses – and they they had to recreate the poses while being dangled on high wires
The next day, the girls met with Jay and CoverGirl representative Brent Poer to shoot their commercial and print ad for the Queen Collection. Lisa struggled to memorize her lines.

“The problem is that Lisa is only focused on failing,” Jay said. “She instantly broke down in tears.”

Heather also completely fumbled her commercial, even when she was fed the lines. But Heather’s got supermodel written all over that face.

Heather Photo: Elizabeth Carrillo/The CW

As for Lisa, she’s got the pretty. But she’s probably not supermodel material.

“We’re not sure if you can handle the harsh realities of the top modeling business,” Tyra told Lisa before eliminating her.

Lisa Photo: Elizabeth Carrillo/The CW

But the real news came today with the announcement that Twiggy’s moving on “due to a scheduling conflict and supermodel Paulina Porizkova will be on board for cycle 10 as a new panel judge.

Paulina’s younger than Twiggy, but she’s still past her model prime. (OK, that was bitchy). She was chosen twice by People magazine as one of the Fifty Most Beautiful People in the world, in 1990 and 1992. Which means back when these models were barely out of diapers. (double bitchy).

International supermodel Paulina Porizkova

Here’s the part of the press release that seemed really strange. She lists her management company and her ATTORNEY. Geeze, Hollywood. Get over it.

The judging panel for cycle 10 will again be led by Tyra Banks and will also include runway expert J. Alexander and renowned fashion photographer Nigel Barker.

My pal, and fashion guru, Dino-Ray Ramos really got behind Ebony and thought she had a shot at winning it all.

Instead, she stood before Tyra and the world (well, anyone who was watching this week) and quit “America’s Next Top Model” after it was revealed that she made the final cut.

Ebony had better things to do than model. She totally check out on this week’s photo shoot. Photo: Freddie Reshew

Ebony, a nursing student from Chicago, blew off moving forward during the ninth cycle of “America’s Next Top Model.” And Miss Tyra couldn’t conceal the disgust she felt when looking at the petulant model coulda-been.

This entire season, Ebony has shown nothing but nasty attitude. She snarls whenever someone gives her constructive criticism and just can’t help but been that person you’d like to avoid in any social situation. Dinner party? Please put her at the OTHER end of the table.

Yet her audition tape showed a bubbly, lively person who looked like she could go the distance. Oh, well. Looks can be deceiving.

The one I’m getting interested in is Asperger girl. Asperger’s disorder is a mild form of autism. At first, it looked like stunt casting and Heather was only there to provide a little dramatic tension. But Heather’s proven to be one of the most interesting girls in the competition.

Heather in her “green” photo shoot representing recyclable materials. Photo: Freddie Reshew

And while Ebony’s departure allowed Ambreal to stay another week. Ambreal may be a nicer person, but she’s not model material. So next week Ambreal seems like a slam-dunk to go home.

Ambreal, nice girl. No model. Photo: Freddie Reshew

Eight girls remain.

In addition to a $100,000 contract with cosmetics giant CoverGirl, this year’s prize package for the winner of The CW’s “America’s Next Top Model” will include a contract with Elite Model Management and a cover and six-page fashion spread in Seventeen magazine.

OK, maybe we won’t be totally mocking the models. But we can’t wait until the new season starts on Sept. 19 on the CW.

Here’s the rundown on the latest ladies of the runway:

Name: Ambreal

Occupation: College Student

Age: 19

Hometown: Dallas, Texas

Name: Bianca

Occupation: College Student

Age: 18

Hometown: Queens, New York

Name: Ebony

Occupation: Nursing Student

Age: 20

Hometown: Chicago, Illinois

Name: Chantal

Occupation: Student

Age: 19

Hometown: Austin, Texas

Name: Heather

Occupation: College Student

Age: 21

Hometown: Valparaiso, Indiana

Name: Janet

Occupation: Aesthetician

Age: 22

Hometown: Bainbridge, Georgia

Name: Jenah

Occupation: Student

Age: 18

Hometown: Farmington, Connecticut

Name: Kimberly

Occupation: College Student

Age: 20

Hometown: Ocala, Florida

Name: Lisa

Occupation: Dancer

Age: 20

Hometown: Jersey City, New Jersey

Name: Mila

Occupation: Recent College Graduate

Age: 20

Hometown: Boston, Massachusetts

Name: Saleisha

Occupation: Receptionist

Age: 21

Hometown: Los Angeles, California

Name: Sarah

Occupation: College Student

Age: 20

Hometown: Heath, Massachusetts

Name: Victoria

Occupation: College Student

Age: 20

Hometown: New Haven, Connecticut

The only surprise on tonight’s “America’s Next Top Model” was that Tyra finally let Whitney go.

WHITNEY

Is it the fact that without Whit, Tyra’s obviously the go-to plus size model on the show?

Look, we’re not against women carrying a few pounds, since we obviously have had ample exercise lifting the fork from the plate to our own mouth, but this IS a show about fashion and modeling.

It’s all about looks, baby.

Right now I’m concerned about Jaslene. She started out so strong, but as the judges noted tonight, her pictures just get weaker and weaker.

On the other hand, Natasha keeps getting stronger. That little Russian gets on my nerves, but I have to admit her pictures get more fierce each week. But my favorite is still Brittany, because she actually looks like a model to me.

And she showed up those creepy twins tonight. I never thought the twins were all that, but seeing them fade in the picture with Brittany justified those feelings.

Next girl out has got to be Jael.

She was too young. Too naive. Too quiet to be of real interest to a reality show.

Tonight, we lost our little girl Samantha, who couldn’t believe it when she was told to play the skanky girl from high school and Jay Manuel asked her to act as if she was pleasuring herself.

Sweet Sam says she doesn’t even use that kind of language when she’s back home in Alabama talking to her girl pals. We knew right then and there she wasn’t long for the competition.

“ANTM” likes the nasty girls.

Hasta la see ya, Sam. We think “Seventeen” or “Cover Girl” should be knocking at your door.

SAMANTHA