SueTube – Let’s talk TV with critic Susan Young

All you need is a computer and a fast connection to get an early viewing of CW’s series “Aliens in America” and “Life is Wild.”

The full episodes of the series air free and without commercial interruption on Yahoo.com before their broadcast air dates.

“Aliens,” about a misfit high schooler and the Muslim exchange student the family takes in, will begins streaming on Yahoo! today. It premieres Oct. 1 on the CW.

Dan Byrd as Justin Tolchuck, Adhir Kalyan as Raja Musharaff Photo Credit: Kharen Hill/The CW (C)2007

“Life Is Wild,” a family drama about a New York veterinarian and his blended family moving to South Africa airs Oct. 7 on The CW, but will be available at Yahoo! starting Saturday.

(L-R) D.W. Moffett as Danny Clarke, K’Sun Ray as Chase Clarke, Leah Pipes as Katie Clarke, Mary Mouser as Mia Weller, Stephanie Niznick as Jo Clarke, David Butler as Art and Andrew St. John as Jesse Weller stars in LIFE IS WILD on THE CW. Photo: David Bloomer/The CW ©2007

Guess what? Claire got a car. A Rogue. From Nissan. That didn’t take anyone out of the moment, now did it?

Still, it was a decent episode even though anyone who had been to YouTube had already seen about the first quarter of it. And yes, I admit to contributing to that let-down by posting those trailers. Still, it took a while for anything to feel fresh tonight.

Claire and H.R.G. are feeling a little fenced in California, where they are supposed to be keeping a low profile. Then perhaps Claire should NOT have tried to set fire to her hand during science class when new found pal West was watching.

West, we soon discover, has a little something extra like Claire. We also discover that managers of Big Box stores shouldn’t mess with H.R.G., especially during his coffee break.

And Nathan and Peter are back, although looking pretty darn shabby. Nathan, we’re assuming, lost the race. He’s now got a scruffy beard when he isn’t looking at his ground-beef face in the mirror. Has he healed a little, or is it an optical illusion?

NATHAN LOOKS LESS DAPPER THIS YEAR

And Peter? He’s trussed up in a cargo box in Ireland. With amnesia. And getting grilled by people with the worst Irish accent I’ve ever heard.

MILO VENTIMIGLIA AS PETER, LOOKING A LITTLE LIKE A VAMPIRE

But by far the most interesting parts had Hiro catching up with his personal hero Takezo Kensei during a 1671 Shogun showdown. Turns out, Takezo’s more Han Solo than Luke Skywalker. Hiro is disappointed, but we’re more interested than ever in this guy.

MASI OKA AS HIRO NAKAMURE, DAVID ANDERS AS KENSEI – NBC Photo: Paul Drinkwater

So what did you think of the episode? Up to expectations or disappointing?

OK, it’s only Friday but I’m already tense with anticipation about the second season opener of “Heroes.”

We know our Heroes will be time traveling and going to places they’ve never been before, like Hiro getting jolted back to feudal Japan (well, actually only about 30 miles away from the L.A. studio).

Here’s a quick peek at what’s in store for us:

So what do you think?

Darn you office pool!

This is the first season in a while where there were no locals in the mix, so for a brief moment I thought perhaps I’d simplify the recording process and mark it off an already swamped Thursday.

(“Ugly Betty” back next week, with “My Name is Earl” and “30 Rock”).

Then Ann Tatko Peterson walked by with the office pool and I was hooked again. I remember telling her, “Just don’t let me pick Chicken.”

I didn’t. I got Ashley. Which almost looked like my 5 bucks was going to be sailing right out the door after the WWE wrestler got sick and couldn’t perform. Even Ash thought she was a goner at tribal council. But in the end, Chicken and his passive-aggressive style got him booted out.

My girl Ashley:

ASHLEY MASSARO, 28 of East Northport, N.Y.
Professional WWE Wrestler

This is the 15th installment of “Survivor.”

“Survivor: China” began not on an island, but in urban Shanghai before moving to HuangPu Mountain’s Mi Tuo Temple for a Buddhist ceremony where they were instructed to leave all of their worldly possessions behind.

The castaways were then be marooned with the clothes on their back at two separate islands on Zhelin Lake (translation: the Land of 1,000 Lakes) located in the Jiangxi Province.

They split into two tribes, Fei Long (translation: Flying Dragon) and Zhan Hu (translation: Fighting Tiger), and given a copy of Sun Tzu’s The Art of War for tribe motivation and assistance throughout the game.

This time there will be a not-so-Hidden Immunity Idol which may save someone from elimination at a future Tribal Council. The idols will be in plain sight, although the castaways won’t realize it at first.

Each week, the winning tribe of the Reward Challenge will be allowed to kidnap someone from the losing tribe. The person who is kidnapped will receive a note from host Jeff Probst before departing for the enemy camp and will be instructed to give it to one member of the enemy tribe (the kidnapped victim will decide who receives it) in private.

The clue will inform this person of the Hidden Immunity Idol located somewhere at their camp. This person must then decide if they wish to share the information with their tribe or keep it to themselves. The kidnapped victim will return to their original tribe at the following Immunity Challenge.

Chicken Out:

CHICKEN MORRIS, 47 Marion, Va.
Chicken farmer

For pictures of all the “Survivor” competitors, search “Survivor” on the blog for the June entry.

We’ve already hash out the fact that we’re morally opposed to letting 40 kids aged 8-14 go all “Lord of the Flies” on a reality show.

But it’s like objecting to veal. We don’t think it’s right to feed off baby calves, but now that the deed is done, might as well check out the veal scallopini.

Critics didn’t get a preview copy of CBS’ “Kid Nation,” because frankly the network knew we weren’t enthusiastic. So why waste postage?

Bottom line: The producers totally ripped off “Survivor,” which I guess is OK when CBS is the mother ship for both vessels. Just like “Survivor,” the participants _ this time kids aged 8-15 _ were sent off to their new home dragging their belongs with them. The were divided into four teams with different colored buffs. Then the teams had to compete for positions in the town’s social structure.

Oh, and since all four teams finished under the time limit, they got to choose between two rewards: A television or like seven more outhouses. The choice was obvious. Even kids know you can’t have 40 kids using one bathroom.

Then, at the end, one kid was chosen to get the gold star worth $20,000. Honestly, we thought after Sophia, 14, of Florida shot her mouth off at the town meeting, the council was going to change their minds about giving her the big prize.

But they didn’t.

There were a lot of kids sobbing, which got a little old. There was also way too much bickering. Because really, you can’t get enough of kids whining at each other, am I right?

Overall, I’ve got to say that I’m going to pass on any more “Kid Nation” episodes. What about you?

Well, it’s finally over.

I have to admit, until I visited the “Big Brother” house last July, I had never really gotten into the series. After the visit, I was hooked.

Guess that’s what happens when you look Evel Dick in the eye through the two-way mirror! On that day, he was packing his bags, sure he was leaving the house. He sang to himself, turned to look at himself in there mirror and there we were nose-to-nose.

Creepy. Yet, that day I got invested in an Evel Dick win.

Now the votes are cast and Dick’s a winner, and says he plans on using his $500,000 winnings on taking a trip around the world. And spreading a little Evel wherever he goes.

Now the only question is whether the teary Eric will get to keep his cutie-pie girlfriend Jessica now that she knows he was America’s Player. I swear, I thought E was going to start sobbing at any minute during tonight’s results show.

As for Jessica, she’s got a nasty streak in her. If you doubt that, don’t forget the look she flashed to her former BFF in tonight’s finale.

So, any thoughts?

Nope. Not even going Code Blue could save the Emmy telecast, which weighed in with only 13.1 million viewers. The only time fewer folks tuned in was the 1990 telecast on Fox.

Compare that to the dazzle of the Oscars, which lured 40.2 million viewers to the telecast. Heck, even the Country Music Awards brought in 16 million people.

GIDGET GETS BLEEPED

We have two words for you: Ryan Seacrest.

There’s nothing special or flashy about Ryan, and he brought the same amateur hour spirit to the Emmys normally reserved for “American Idol.”

RYAN MAKES EVERYONE UNCOMFORTABLE

And James Spader over James Gandolfini for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series? Emmy deserved the hit.

BAD PRESENTERS. BAD, BAD…and then there was James…

The 25 bachelorettes hoping to lasso rich Texan Brad Womack were revealed today, and one of them is from Walnut Creek.

Sheena, 23, is an internet marketing executive who wasn’t in the promos for the show, which begins at 9:30 Monday (Sept. 24) on ABC.

SHEENA got a picture on the ABC site. Does that mean she’s in the 15?

They do, however, mention an eye-catching beauty who has a secret past, an outspoken vixen dubbed “McNasty” and a devout Christian woman who is also a streaker.

The 90-minute opener cuts the herd down from 25 women to just 15 potential soul mates. In the premiere, one introduces herself in Greek, two talk freak sports injuries, an acupuncturist diagnoses him by examining his tongue and a news anchor decides to interview the bachelor in order to wow him.

And one shows off her webbed toes. Creepy.

The 25 women are:

Bettina, 27, a realtor who currently resides in Washington, DC.

DeAnna, 25, a realtor who currently resides in Neunan, GA.

Erin, 25, a publishing sales executive who currently resides in Tampa, FL.

Estefania, 26, an executive assistant who currently resides in Atlanta, GA.

Hillary, 27, a registered nurse who currently resides in Philadelphia, PA.

Jade, 24, a boutique sales worker who currently resides in Nashville, TN.

Jenni, 27, a Phoenix Suns cheerleader who currently resides in Wichita, KS.

Jessica, 27, a news anchor who currently resides in Lady Lake, FL.

Juli, 24, a law student who currently resides in Chicago, IL.

Kim, 31, a realtor who currently resides in Woodbridge, CT.

Kristy, 29, an acupuncturist, who currently resides in Chicago, IL.

Lindsey, 25, a model who currently resides in Livania, MI.

Lori, 33, a biology teacher who currently resides in Annapolis, MD.

Mallory, 24, a nanny who currently resides in Honolulu, HI.

Melissa, 28, an event planner who currently resides in Westchester, NY.

McCarten, 26, an account manager who currently resides in San Diego, CA.

Michele, 30, a realtor who currently resides in South Brunswick, NJ.

Morgan, 24, a graduate student who currently resides in Tempe, AZ.

Natalie, 25, a law student who currently resides in Duncanville, TX.

Rigina, 31, an account representative who currently resides in San Diego, CA.

Sarah, 23, a bar manager who currently resides in O’Fallon, IL.

Sheena, 23, an internet marketing executive who currently resides in Walnut Creek, CA.

Solisa, 25, an esthetician who currently resides in Georgetown, TX.

Susan, 35, a project analyst who currently resides in St. Charles, IL.

Tauni, 31, an ER nurse who currently resides in St. Louis Park, MN.

First, let’s just say that those censors had their work cut out for them tonight. At first, I thought it was just because something was going wacky with the East Coast telecast I was watching.

And to think when we wrote about the Emmys going Code Blue, we thought it would just be a little Emmy winning song by Justin Timberlake. Justin was a no-show, but the Code Blue was in full effect.

First, Ray Romano, who seemed to think he was playing some comedy club, got a little frisky with language associated with having sexual relations when he accused his “Everybody Loves Raymond” wife Patricia Heaton of bestowing her favors on Kelsey Grammer, who plays her former lover on the new Fox series “Back to You.”

That got blacked out.

Then you had sweet Katherine Heigl mouthing a profanity when she was named Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama. Oh, Katie, Katie, Katie.

Things kept going black and there were a lot of cutaways. You know when Jon Stewart gets away with saying bastard on primetime that the words others were saying had to be pretty bad.

Sally Field? Well, at least the ill-fated Oscar speech of “You like me. You really like me” now takes a back seat to her acceptance speech when she started forgetting her lines and ended with having the lord damn….well, we’re not sure what because it all went black.

Here’s a list of the winners, which didn’t include the big Sopranos win I had predicted. Look, if I could see into the future, I’d be living in Las Vegas right now.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy:
Jeremy Piven won again for his work as Ari, the abrasive agent in “Entourage.” You can’t argue with giving the statue to Piven, because he was great.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama:
Terry O’Quinn, who did a swell job as Locke in “Lost,” didn’t get my vote however. (I did like his speech in which he said that when he’s “rolling in the muc” he thinks about the “Desperate Housewives” baking cookies on Wisteria Lane. And getting a better paycheck. Yet, he still believes he has the best job in the world.
I chose Michael Imperioli because I thought, hey, last chance with “The Sopranos.” Guess the Emmy voters didn’t care.

Outstanding Actress in a Comedy:
Jaime Pressly of “My Name is Earl” took home the trophy and looked fabulous.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Miniseries/movie:

Thomas Haden Church for AMC’s “Broken Trail.” If you didn’t see the miniseries, you missed out on a great ride. Church choked us up with his teary tribute to his dad, who gave him his love for Westerns, and to “Wings” producer David Angell and his wife, who died on one of the planes on Sept. 11. But why does he insist on talking about his need to pee?

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama:
Katherine Heigl takes home the statue. “My own mother said I didn’t have a shot in hell of winning this,” she says. Mom looked a little shocked, but it all worked out in the end.

Outstanding Writing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Series:
Late Night with Conan O’Brien”

Outstanding Directing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Program:
Rob Marshall for “Tony Bennett: An American Classic” on NBC.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a miniseries/ movie:
Who else? The man, Robert Duvall. First Emmy win, because he lost out in his first nomination in 1989 for “Lonesome Dove.” Duvall paid presenter Kiefer Sutherland a compliment for being “a good horseman.” Which he is. Everybody loves a Western, as Duvall says, “the Western is here to stay.” So let’s start making more.

Outstanding Miniseries, Movie or Dramatic Special:
Broken Trail

Outstanding Directing for a Drama Series:
Alan Taylor, “The Sopranos.”

Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series:
David Chase, “The Sopranos.”

Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Program:
“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart”

Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Special:
“Tony Bennett: An American Classic”

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a miniseries/movie:
Judy Davis, “The Starter Wife.” Not here, but sure she’ll be thrilled, ”says Marcia Cross.

Outstanding Made for Television Movie:
“Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee.” Producer Dick Wolf, who thanked his very pregnant wife for not going into labor.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Miniseries or movie:
Helen Mirren in “Prime Suspect: The Final Act.” “Oh, come on music. I’ve been talking enough.” Never enough, Helen.

Outstanding Directing for a miniseries/movie:
Phillip Martin “Prime Suspect”

Outstanding Writing for a miniseries/ movie:
Philip Deasy, “Prime Suspect”

Outstanding Individual Performance in a Individual Performance in a Variety, etc. :
Tony Bennett.

Outstanding Directing in a Comedy Series:
Richard Shepard, “Ugly Betty”

Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series:
Greg Daniels, “The Office” Can we be any happier?

Outstanding Reality Competition Series:
“Amazing Race” wins again. Guess the category wasn’t fixed despite the Emmys being on Fox.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy series:
Ricky Gervais, “Extras.” He wasn’t there, so Stewart says, “Ricky Gervais couldn’t be here tonight, so instead we’re giving it to our friend Steve Carell.” Who should have won it in the first place.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series:
Sally Field. YEAH! Nice speech too until she started getting applause from those who thought she was done. She should have quit while she was ahead.
“I have to finish talking,” she says, then couldn’t remember what she wanted to say about the war. She babbled on until saying that “If mothers ruled the world, there wouldn’t be any God d…(blanked out of my broadcast).”

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series:
America Ferrera in her first Emmy win. Couldn’t happen to a nicer person. My only regret is that I didn’t go with my gut instinct and put her down as the winner.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series:
OK, the one guy I never thought would win it. James Spader, who won it for the same role on “The Practice.” But he gave a great speech. “I feel like I just stole a pile of money from the mob.” “I’ve been to a lot of concerts and these are the worst seats I’ve ever had.”

Outstanding Comedy Series:
“30 Rock” “I’d like to thank our dozens and dozens of viewers” says creator/star Tina Fey. Maybe there will be dozens and dozens more now.

Outstanding Drama Series:
Finally, Helen Mirren spins around the stage with the name of the series, “The Sopranos.”
OK, I finally got one right.

Well, at least you can’t say Fox didn’t use their turn at bat to flog their new fall line-up.

I’ll admit I laughed at parts of the opening song, “If you want it you can find it on TV’,” with animated “Family Guy” stars Stewie and Brian.

Loved the slam on “Cavemen,” but no one left unscathed. The hit on “Sopranos” when they same “and you never know how it’s going to (black screen).” Host Ryan Seacrest kept things moving along nicely, giving shots out to the crowd both in the audience and viewers.

The thing I like the most about Ryan hosting is that he doesn’t do a lot of it. Ellen DeGeneres is the best, so if Fox had to put “American Idol” in the spotlight, at least they let Ryan have as little airtime as any host in recent history.

The bang-bang we get four big awards: the Supporting Actor in a Comedy/Drama then Supporting Actress in a Comedy, followed by Supporting Actor in movie/miniseries before the first half hour has passed.

Sweet.

We’ll talk winners after the West Coast portion airs. But I can say that so far, my predictions have flopped miserably. Now I know why I don’t go to Vegas.

Wow. About 50 minutes in and it’s moving right along. Now we’ve got Tony Bennett and Christina Aguilera singing “Stepping Out with My Baby.’‘ X-tina shows what happens when you do things right in your career, Britney. Oh, and there’s def a baby bump there.

What I like is we have some serious moments that work, like the “Roots” tribute with the regal Queen Latifah, then some chuckle moments with “The Office.” Still, the acceptance speeches have left a bit to be desired.

Oh boy, Jersey Boys coming up…This is the first time in memory I haven’t looked at my watch after the first 90 minutes of an Emmy show and wished someone would put me out of my misery…I’m not saying this is a fantastic show, but at least it seems to be moving along at a fairly brisk clip and not taking itself too seriously.

But is that a good thing?

The Jersey Boys are here. “Walk Like a Man,” “Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You,” and OK, I don’t know the title to the next song…“Who Loves You Baby?” Maybe. Help me out.
The songs come with clips from “The Sopranos.” An hour and 45 minutes and I’m actually tapping my toes. Maybe I’m just going delirious.

Now the “Sopranos” cast is on the stage. That’s one big cast. Lots of applause. Then commercial…that’s it? Just a bow? Odd little filler that….and when we come back, everyone seems a little surprised. I’m just wondering what it was all about.

Resident ranger Louis Black on my favorite topic _ those horrid promo crawls telling you what show is coming on next that ruin our viewing experience of what’s going on NOW.

There have been a lot of awards handed out, yet I repeat that in respect to no spoilers, I’m not going to start posting the winners until after they are announced on the West Coast…like you couldn’t get them early….

Oops. Bad sign. Ryan just showed up in a period costume. As Wayne Brady says, “looking like a medievel pimp.” Oh, now Wayne has selected Rainn Wilson and Kanye as the “randomly selected” participants to see who will win the opportunity to give out an Emmy. The category: “Songs of Kanye West.”

Fox keeps on flogging its shows. This is starting to look more like amateur night as things roll along.

Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart, together again. Gotta love it. They’re talking about the “Green Emmys.”
“This baby runs on alternative fuel…Al Gore tears,” says Stephen with his leaf blower in hand.
Is bastard allowed on broadcast television? Guess we’ll find out on the West Coast broadcast. And the boys? Not as funny was we thought…

The roll of those no longer with us always gets to me.
Wow, only 10 more minutes until we’ve hit the three-hour mark. Will they bring it in on time?
Nah…

OK, the guy I never thought would win, just won Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama, but by golly he gave great speech….It’s now 8 our time, 11 back east. So much for an early curtain.

Hey. Only 11 minutes over. Must be a record.