SueTube – Let’s talk TV with critic Susan Young

The darling of convention crowd for years, the actor formerly known as Agent Mulder is coming back to series TV.

David Duchovny stars in a yet-untitled project set to air on Showtime. Called a “stylish new comedy” in the network’s press release, Showtime has ordered 12 episodes scheduled to premiere in August.

David not only stars, but also produces the series wich will co-star Natascha McElhone (“The Truman Show”), Madeleine Martin (“Law & Order: Special Victims Unit,” “Hope & Faith”), Madeline Zima (“The Nanny,” A Cinderella Story), and Evan Handler (“Sex and the City”).

The comedy centers on novelist Hank Moody (Duchovny) who struggles to raise his 13-year-old daughter (Madeleine Martin), while still carrying a torch for his ex-girlfriend Karen (McElhone). His obsession with truth-telling and self-destructive behavior – drinks, drugs and relationships – are both destroying and enriching his career.

If “American Idol” was really a singing competition, then Sanjaya would have gotten the boot tonight.

His performance on Tuesday of “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” wasn’t even good enough for an elementary school talent contest. When he reached up high and squatted down low, it’s was cookie-tossin’ time.

So who got bumped tonight?

The bottom three were called out: Sanjaya, Phil and Brandon.

We had no problem with the voters’ bottom three until the person being elminated was called out and it was Brandon.

Well, at least Sanjaya didn’t forget the words the way Brandon did on Tuesday. Brandon was one of the early bright lights who dimmed significantly as he constantly made poor song choices.

BRANDON ROGERS

Good-bye Brandon. Would that it was Sanjaya we were bidding adieu.

It’s been years since I first talked to comic Richard Jeni, but no one who had ever met him could forget how much he made you laugh.

Few comics are happy-go-lucky people, it just doesn’t go with the territory. Richard was no exception. He had his demons and his doubts. It takes a different kind of person to step up on stage all alone night after night pouring out your guts – and getting heckled in the process.

This past weekend, Richard’s demons overtook him and he died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound. His family released this statement:

“Often times, when we are faced with a sudden and tragic loss, there is a natural curiosity – a need to know what exactly happened.

The family of Richard Jeni would like to put to rest any assumptions as to the cause of Richard’s death. Despite the fact that the coroner’s office has publicly stated that a suicide ruling will take two weeks, pending the results of an autopsy, Richard Jeni did take his own life.

Rumors have been circulating as to the cause of his death and have included speculation of Richard being depressed over the state of his career or a physical ailment. His career was not even addressed by his specialists when they were trying to diagnose Richard’s illness. In fact, he had just enjoyed one of his most financially rewarding years to date. He was consistently creating new material for his busy touring schedule, and during the last week of his life, he had meetings scheduled with Chris Albrecht, the president of HBO, to discuss future projects following his last HBO special. In actuality, the past few years had been more prolific than ever. As his agents can attest, prior to his illness, Richard only missed one engagement in over twenty years, and that was due to weather.

The truth is: earlier this year Richard Jeni was diagnosed with severe clinical depression coupled with bouts of psychotic paranoia. One only needs to have a family member or friend with a mental illness to understand that there is nothing rational, predictable, or fair about these diseases. Mental illness is as serious as any physical affliction and can be just as devastating.

He was not down or blue, he was ill. If you knew Richard, you could understand, this was as much a shock to those close to him, as it is to his fans and colleagues. Perhaps Richard’s passing will encourage people to have sympathy, compassion and understanding for those who are afflicted with mental illness. As we are all trying to make sense of this, take time to remember the joy and laughter Richard brought to the countless people he touched during his much too short life.”

Let’s put this under the category of too-much-information.

Aging rocker Gene Simmons of KISS fame and his common law wife Shannon Tweed have decided to do dual face-lifts and bare it all in the new season of “Gene Simmons Family Jewels,” premiering with back-to-back episodes at 9 p.m. March 25 on A&E.

Could this sound any more pathetic?

Well, let’s go on. Viewers get an “uncensored” look at their plastic surgeries from pre-op to post-op, including the couple’s long road to recovery.

According to today’s press release, the new season will show whether Gene and Shannon can continue to be “Happily Unmarried” after more than 20 years together, Nick preparing to leave for college, Sophie fast becoming a young lady, and Shannon’s determination to have another baby – “all while Gene is living the life of a Rock God.”

Rock god? That ship has sailed, my friend.

“Survivor” is getting too painful to watch.

It’s one thing to plop wanna-be Trumps into backyard tents on “The Apprentice.” It’s quite another to watch starving people get weaker and weaker while another team just keeps getting fatter and more smug.

Perhaps things will change when “Survivor” returns on March 21 (it’s getting bumped for basketball).

But this past week’s show was agonizing to watch. When an intellectual like Yau Man can’t even remember numbers and words in a match game, you know that the lack of nourishment is taking its toll.

Michelle looks like she can barely make it through the day, much less compete in challenges.

Starvin’ Michelle Yi, of the Ravu tribe tries to fend off beefy Lisette “Lisi” Linares, of the Moto tribe, during the immunity challenge, “Kung Fu Cannibals

Enough already.

Does Sanjaya Malakar have some mysterious mojo going or what?

Clearly, he was the worst of the bunch this week, yet Breck Boy was spared by voters who decided to pop him into the final dozen.

Perhaps it was his newly straighten locks.

Or seeing him do the hula.

Still, even dirty Internet pictures couldn’t save the vocally challenged Antonella Barba, who got the boot despite being one of the most Googled contestant perhaps in the history of the show.

ANTONELLA SANG CORINNE BAILEY RAE’S “PUT YOUR RECORDS ON”

There had been ample speculation that Antonella would slip into the final 12 just on the basis of her looks. But she proved less resilient than the aforementioned Sanjaya.

Clearly from the judges’ perspective this week, the other woman who needed to go was Haley Scarnato. Simon said that he had to ask Paula what her name was because he honestly couldn’t remember it.

Apparently, the voters didn’t share Simon’s lack of recall.

Instead, they lopped off the Barbra Streisand look-alike Sabrina Sloan, who hit it hard each week and appeared to be a shoo-in.

SABRINA SANG EN VOGUE’S “DON’T LET GO”

Also getting the hook this week was Jared Cotter, who proved to be a little too cheesy for the voters.

JARED SANG STEVIE WONDER’S “IF YOU REALLY LOVE ME”

And finally, just when we thought we’d see the last of Sunjaya, the name called out was Sundance Head.

SUNDANCE SANG PEARL JAM’S “JEREMY”

Sundance has had his problems in the competition, but we didn’t think it was quite his time to go yet.

As for the big announcement “American Idol” has been touting all week, it turns out that “American Idol” is ready to share the wealth with those less fortunate.

“American Idol” will helping poverty-stricken people throughout the world including Africa and America.

On April 24 and 25, for every vote viewers cast, an equal amount of money will be donated to the charity. In addition, show sponsors Coca-Cola, Ford and AT&T, among others will donate money to the Chairty Projects Entertainment Fund.

The fund will distribute the money to Save the Children and other U.S. organizations dealing with poverty in this country. CPEF will also distribute proceeds to the U.S. Fund for UNICEF and other organizations involved with health and education programs in Africa.

Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest meet school children in Africa.

On April 25, the Wednesday results show expands to two hours, with entertainment provided by such celebrities as Gwen Stefani, Josh Groban, Pink, Michael Buble, Annie Lennox, Il Divo and Borat (Sacha Baron Cohen).

She was too young. Too naive. Too quiet to be of real interest to a reality show.

Tonight, we lost our little girl Samantha, who couldn’t believe it when she was told to play the skanky girl from high school and Jay Manuel asked her to act as if she was pleasuring herself.

Sweet Sam says she doesn’t even use that kind of language when she’s back home in Alabama talking to her girl pals. We knew right then and there she wasn’t long for the competition.

“ANTM” likes the nasty girls.

Hasta la see ya, Sam. We think “Seventeen” or “Cover Girl” should be knocking at your door.

SAMANTHA

So, did anyone else notice who the former First Lady was snugglin’ by in the previews for next week’s “24”?

First, we’ll hark back to how strange it was to realize that while our dear Jack was getting tortured in prison and his daddy was aiding terrorists who nuked Valencia (Magic Mountain!), some of his old pals were getting busy.

Did anyone else expect that Bill Buchanan, who had romanced Michelle Dessler after her split from Tony Almeida, would bounce back to marry Karen Hayes???

Anyway, in the previews we discover that former First Lady Martha Logan is now in the arms of her hero, former Secret Service agent Aaron Pierce.

Now, there’s an explosion.

I’ll get this out of the way right now: I’m enjoying “Lost” again, but “Heroes” is still my fav.

And why, you might ask?

Because on Monday, “Heroes” managed to cover so much territory, yet it never bogged down and never seemed crowded. And by the end, questions were answered and more questions popped up.

First, we get chills knowing Malcolm McDowell, Mr. Clockwork Orange himself, is the mysterious Linderman. We also discover that Mama Petrelli not only knows about her cheerleader granddaughter, but may have engineered her escape.

We also learned that good Ali Larter can sometimes overpower bad Ali Larter.

And just how cool was it when Ando came to save the day for Hiro? Or when Mohinder confronted Sylar when we all thought he was fooled – only to have the tables turned on Mohinder?

But the juiciest part for “Felicity” fans was seeing delightful Ian Gomez as Linderman’s curator.
You go, Javier Clemente Quintata!

Next week, Sylar and Peter face off in a fierce battle.

Which leads us to tonight’s episode of “Lost” and what-have-we-learned.

We got a little bit of frolickin’ fun on the beach, with Sawyer getting shut down on the nicknames. Luckily, it will just be for a week.

But more importantly, we learned that The Others aren’t from the Dharma Initiative, that The Others were on the island before Dharma and that the “Lost” writers sometimes feel like they have to hit us over the head with certain images.

Like the kitty-cat.

Yep, we saw the long, lingering shot of the cat when Sayid approached the house. We saw it again when the cat scratched the hidden trap door, tipping off Sayid as to where another Other was hiding. And we saw it again on the lap of the woman Sayid tortured in his flashback.

So did we HAVE to show the puddy-tat one more time as Sayid left the blown-up island building?

We get it. Cat significant.

Oh, and there are horses and cows on the island. And eye-patch guy isn’t all that nice.

Still, a good show and one I’ll be watching until the end.

Oh, and I loved the whole nickname bit with Sawyer, but my favorite line was when he said to Nikki (Kiele Sanchez) “Who the hell are you?”

Who indeed.

Well, maybe a small surprise that Sanjaya is still around.

Guess that just goes to the power of good hair, or the appeal of androgynous-looking boys to girls with speedy dialing fingers.

Did you notice that two of the people who were eliminated sang the same song?

Honestly, the competition is Melinda Doolittle and LaKisha Jones, with Stephanie Edwards following closely. Not a single guy can match what the top two have already shown us.

Still, I’ve got a soft spot for Chris Sligh and hope he makes it into the finals.

Tonight, Nick Pedro was eliminated. He sang Peggy Lee’s “Fever”

Alaina Alexander sang the Dixie Chicks’ “Not Ready to Make Nice”

A.J. Tobaldo, who did so well this week singing Nina Simone’s “Feeling Good”

And Leslie Hunt, who also chose the ill-fated tune “Feeling Good.”

Bah-bye.