SueTube – Let’s talk TV with critic Susan Young

She was too young. Too naive. Too quiet to be of real interest to a reality show.

Tonight, we lost our little girl Samantha, who couldn’t believe it when she was told to play the skanky girl from high school and Jay Manuel asked her to act as if she was pleasuring herself.

Sweet Sam says she doesn’t even use that kind of language when she’s back home in Alabama talking to her girl pals. We knew right then and there she wasn’t long for the competition.

“ANTM” likes the nasty girls.

Hasta la see ya, Sam. We think “Seventeen” or “Cover Girl” should be knocking at your door.

SAMANTHA

So, did anyone else notice who the former First Lady was snugglin’ by in the previews for next week’s “24”?

First, we’ll hark back to how strange it was to realize that while our dear Jack was getting tortured in prison and his daddy was aiding terrorists who nuked Valencia (Magic Mountain!), some of his old pals were getting busy.

Did anyone else expect that Bill Buchanan, who had romanced Michelle Dessler after her split from Tony Almeida, would bounce back to marry Karen Hayes???

Anyway, in the previews we discover that former First Lady Martha Logan is now in the arms of her hero, former Secret Service agent Aaron Pierce.

Now, there’s an explosion.

I’ll get this out of the way right now: I’m enjoying “Lost” again, but “Heroes” is still my fav.

And why, you might ask?

Because on Monday, “Heroes” managed to cover so much territory, yet it never bogged down and never seemed crowded. And by the end, questions were answered and more questions popped up.

First, we get chills knowing Malcolm McDowell, Mr. Clockwork Orange himself, is the mysterious Linderman. We also discover that Mama Petrelli not only knows about her cheerleader granddaughter, but may have engineered her escape.

We also learned that good Ali Larter can sometimes overpower bad Ali Larter.

And just how cool was it when Ando came to save the day for Hiro? Or when Mohinder confronted Sylar when we all thought he was fooled – only to have the tables turned on Mohinder?

But the juiciest part for “Felicity” fans was seeing delightful Ian Gomez as Linderman’s curator.
You go, Javier Clemente Quintata!

Next week, Sylar and Peter face off in a fierce battle.

Which leads us to tonight’s episode of “Lost” and what-have-we-learned.

We got a little bit of frolickin’ fun on the beach, with Sawyer getting shut down on the nicknames. Luckily, it will just be for a week.

But more importantly, we learned that The Others aren’t from the Dharma Initiative, that The Others were on the island before Dharma and that the “Lost” writers sometimes feel like they have to hit us over the head with certain images.

Like the kitty-cat.

Yep, we saw the long, lingering shot of the cat when Sayid approached the house. We saw it again when the cat scratched the hidden trap door, tipping off Sayid as to where another Other was hiding. And we saw it again on the lap of the woman Sayid tortured in his flashback.

So did we HAVE to show the puddy-tat one more time as Sayid left the blown-up island building?

We get it. Cat significant.

Oh, and there are horses and cows on the island. And eye-patch guy isn’t all that nice.

Still, a good show and one I’ll be watching until the end.

Oh, and I loved the whole nickname bit with Sawyer, but my favorite line was when he said to Nikki (Kiele Sanchez) “Who the hell are you?”

Who indeed.

Well, maybe a small surprise that Sanjaya is still around.

Guess that just goes to the power of good hair, or the appeal of androgynous-looking boys to girls with speedy dialing fingers.

Did you notice that two of the people who were eliminated sang the same song?

Honestly, the competition is Melinda Doolittle and LaKisha Jones, with Stephanie Edwards following closely. Not a single guy can match what the top two have already shown us.

Still, I’ve got a soft spot for Chris Sligh and hope he makes it into the finals.

Tonight, Nick Pedro was eliminated. He sang Peggy Lee’s “Fever”

Alaina Alexander sang the Dixie Chicks’ “Not Ready to Make Nice”

A.J. Tobaldo, who did so well this week singing Nina Simone’s “Feeling Good”

And Leslie Hunt, who also chose the ill-fated tune “Feeling Good.”

Bah-bye.

Turns out Vincent Pastore is living up to his “Sopranos” moniker.

VINCENT PASTORE

The actor who played Big Pussy on the HBO hit has bowed out of the fourth season of “Dancing with the Stars” before the competition even began.

Pastore, 60, withdrew after one week of training. Pastore came to the decision that the physical demands of a ten-week season would be too difficult for him to undertake.

“When I initially committed to joining ‘Dancing with the Stars,’ I didn’t realize just how physically demanding it would be for me. Unable to put forth my best effort, I felt it appropriate to step aside and give someone else the opportunity,” Pastore says. “I’d like to thank ABC and the show’s producers for inviting me to participate. I wish my partner, Edyta, and the other dancers the best of luck.”

“We’re sad that Vincent felt he was unable to continue in the competition, as he would have been great on the show,” adds executive producer Conrad Green. “But we appreciate him standing aside now rather than having to withdraw later. ‘Dancing with the Stars’ is physically demanding and it pays to know your limits. We respect his decision.”

OK, so it doesn’t actually arrive until Wednesday, but I’m excited about this new season already.

Tyra goes military in the beginning, and who can’t love Miss J in her short-shorts cammies. It’s a fun two-hour ride, although anyone who has been reading the blog will know the ID’s of the Final 13.

The initial contestants are whittled down to the final 13 by the end of the first hour.

In the second hour, we get to the challenges (thrift store fashion!) and the judges kick off the first wannabe.

Trust me, she deserved it just for the stupid answer she gave the judges.

And let me know what you think of the Russian.

Here’s some highlights:

And Tyra talks about the finalists:

How much do we love “Heroes”?

Last night, in an episode written by the wonderful Bryan Fuller (“Wonderfalls”), we had an episode that gave us answers, offered new questions and made us want to cry like a little baby.

Bryan Fuller

Dad really did have Claire’s best interests at heart. This episode allowed us inside the dark heart of Mr. Bennett.

Jack Coleman and Hayden Panettiere in burning house

He’s a company man who uses people, and discards them when they are no longer necessary. We saw how he tried to eliminate the Invisible Man, and more importantly, we discovered that they used to be partners.

But he does love his family, especially Claire – the little mutant he was supposed to turn over to his bosses at The Company if she ever showed signs of being “special.”

We also saw that Hiro’s dad may just own The Company. How much does sis know? And just how much does he love his own super child?

And did you notice that they were meeting at the top of the Devereaux building? Was Mr. Devereaux part of The Company?

And when the Haitian “went deep” to take away Mr. Bennett’s memories that might lead the bad guys to his beloved Claire, did he also take away what made him love her? Is he now a threat to Claire?

So many questions answered, and so many more raised.

And then the previews. Is Simone really alive? Is she another hero or just in some strange dream? And we finally get to meet the mysterious Linderman.

In next week’s episode, we’re introduced to yet another Hero: Missy Peregrym as Candice Wilmer.

God, I love this show.

Here’s the storyline for next week:

With the election and NYC’s destruction looming, Nathan (Adrian Pasdar) has a disturbing face-to-face meeting with the shadowy Linderman. Hiro’s (Golden Globe nominee Masi Oka) attempt to steal the sword steers him into a grim new direction. Suresh (Sendhil Ramamurthy) makes a breakthrough on “the list” — at great cost. D.L. (Leonard Roberts) begins to suspect all is not well at home. Isaac (Santiago Cabrera) paints his most terrible painting yet. New “hero” Candice Wilmer (guest star Missy Peregrym) makes an illusive debut.

When you’re a TV critic, the only way to watch the Oscars is in front of the tube.

That’s why the lovely and talented Oakland Tribune freelancer Lana K. Wilson-Combs needed to be at the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood.

But before we get to her quotes, I’d like to set the stage. The Kodak Theater is a a freakin’ MALL in Hollywood next to Grauman’s Chinese Theater and the Renaissance Hotel – which is actually just a dressed-up former Holiday Inn.

It’s tourist central, so I guess it makes sense. Anyway, heeerre’s Lana:

Forest Whitaker–After winning the “Best Actor” award for “The Last King of Scotland.”
“I had no idea that I’d be standing here tonight. So many people thought that this would be a lock and I never thought that. I was among some great actors. I’m so honored and so humbled. It’s a big achievement and I thank God for it.”

Leonardo DiCaprio–Before the Oscars.
“I’m in a very tough category with some extremely talented actors. So I’m not sure if this will be my night. I have a good feeling that the night will belong to Scorsese.”
(After The Oscars)
“See I told you so.”

Jack Nicholson–When asked if he and Britney Spears go to the same hairstylist. Laughs.
“It’s actually for a movie I’m doing with Morgan Freeman called “The Bucket List.“ It’s about a guy who is terminally ill with cancer.”

Djimon Hounsou–When asked about his chances to win “Best Supporting Actor.”
“I stopped predicting things I can’t control. I do have my fingers crossed and we’ll see what happens. Either way, I’m very proud of the movie (“Blood Diamond”) and the opportunity to work with Leonardo DiCaprio.”

Jennifer Lopez–Clutching tightly to her husband Marc Anthony and stopping for every photo op on the red carpet. When asked about her latest music plans.
“I have a new album coming out in June. It’s going to be hot.”
“She’s not lying either, chimed in Anthony. I’ve heard a few tracks and it’s sizzling.”

Daniel “007” Craig— Looking absolutely smashing in an Armani tuxedo. How he feels about resurrecting the iconic James Bond character and the success of “Casino Royale?”

“I did my best with the role and I’m happy that people latched on to the new Bond. (His upcoming “Bond 22”) “It continues from “Casino Royale.” It’s based on the Ian Fleming short story “Risico.” (The story also appeared in his book “For Your Eyes Only.”)

Louis Gossett Jr.–Academy Award winning actor who is currently starring in “Daddy’s Little Girls”).
“I’m just here taking in all the sights and sounds. I’m not presenting or anything. I would love to see Forest Whitaker win tonight.”

Jennifer Hudson— Before her win. “This is just too much. I don’t know how long this dream is going to last. It’s been non-stop excitement for me leading up to this big moment. I’m really trying to wrap myself around all of what’s going on.”

After her win for “Best Supporting Actress.”
“It’s a great feeling. I can’t describe it. I want this dream to last forever.”

On her co-star Eddie Murphy losing for “Best Supporting Actor.”
“I’m shocked. Stunned. He did such an amazing job in the film. I really wish he would have won.”

James Taylor–performed “Our Town” (“Cars”)–His upcoming projects.
“I’m probably not going to do another Christmas CD anytime soon but I am going into the studio and work on another pop album that I hope to complete by the end of summer.” I just finished my One Man Band Tour stop show at the Orpheum Theatre in San Francisco. the turnout and the crowd was great. I love playing the Bay Area.”

Keith Robinson–Star of “Dreamgirls.”
“I can’t believe I’m here. Pinch me. Go ahead and pinch me. Am I supposed to be on the Red Carpet? This is unreal.”

Siedah Garrett–Co-wrote the song, “Love You I Do” from “Dreamgirls.”
“You know how people say they’re just happy to be nominated? We’ll I’m not, I would love to win. I’m thrilled to be nominated but a win would be icing on the cake.” (Garrett lost to Melissa Etheridge who won for the song “I need to Wake Up” from the documentary “An Inconvenient Truth.”

Ellen Degeneres has come a long way from doing her standup act at Tommy T’s San Ramon more than a decade ago.

Sporting a red velvet pantsuit, Degeneres rocked never forgetting she wasn’t just there to entertain the home crowd, but also to tickle the audience at home. Too bad the producers didn’t think about the people at home watching. At three hours and 45 minutes, it was a bloated production that needed a good edit. Instead of being a sharp show that came in a little over budget, we were yawning by the time the final credits rolled.

Yet it started out so promising. Degeneres did her best to keep the ball rolling. She yucked it up with audience members like Clint Eastwood, and even got Steven Spielberg to snap their picture for her My Space. And earlier in the evening, she pointed out that America had voted Jennifer Hudson off “American Idol” and yet she was here. And that Al Gore had been voted in by the American public, and yet…

Hudson, who had the good luck to be voted off “American Idol” so she could be free to do “Dreamgirls,” picked up an Oscar for her best supporting actress role.

“I have to take a moment to take this in. Look what God can do,” says an obviously overwhelmed Hudson. “I didn’t think I was going to win. If my grandmother could only see me now. She was a singer with the passion, but not the chance.”

The dazed Hudson barely noticed when her presenter, George Clooney, handed her the envelope as a keepsake.

Talking about dazed, by 8:30 — the time the awards show was supposed to end — we still hadn’t gotten to several major awards. Which meant once again we leisurely go through the awards so only to rush through the awards most people tuning in wanted to see.

The major honors were handed out in breakneck fashion during the last 15 minutes of the show:

Best Actress to Helen Mirren for “The Queen” showed grace under pressure thanking her fellow nominees, filmmakers and even Elizabeth Winsor, the Queen.

Best Actor to Forest Whitaker in “the Last King of Scotland,” who wrote something down because he thought he would be overwhelmed.

“The only way I saw movies as a kid was in the backseat at a drive-in. It is possible for a kid from Texas and raised in South Central (L.A.) to happen,” Whitaker said in an emotional statement. “Thank my ancestors and God.”

Three Amigos — Francis Ford Coppola, Steven Spielberg, and George Lucas, who joked about never having won an Oscar — giving the Best Directing Oscar to their pal Martin Scorsese for “The Departed” who was the only award winner to get a standing ovation.

“Could you double-check the envelope?” he joked.

And finally Jack Nicholson asked Diane Keaton to remind everyone the nominees for Best Picture. We needed the nudge.

The Oscar went to “The Departed, ‘’ with a speech by producer Graham King that made the show go out with a yawn.

Whitaker and Hudson was one of a handful of winners who took Degeneres’ advice early in the evening when she encouraged winners to lie if they had to in order to keep the broadcast interesting. She also provided a precarious moment during the production of the best song nominee from “Dreamgirls” when she almost popped out of her red dress.

Melissa Etheridge ended up winning best song for “An Inconvenient Truth,” the documentary who took home an Oscar and inspired the Oscars to “go green.”

“I have to thank Al Gore…caring about the earth is not Republican or Democrat. It’s not red or blue,” Etheridge said. “We’re all green. We can be the greatest generation. The generation that woke up and changed.”

Earlier in the evening, Alan Arkin blandly read from crib notes to accept his best supporting actor statue for his role in “Little Miss Sunshine.” A shot of his little co-star Abigail Breslin said it for us all when she was caught gazing off in obvious boredom.

In fact, if the Oscars just went with what the public wanted, then it would be cut to half the time with all the major awards like best acting, best writing and best pictures. And we would have cut Jerry Seinfeld altogether, although we still got a kick out of the shadow dancers, Celine Dion singing, and the bit by Will Ferrell and Jack Black way back at the beginning of the night.

So why do we keep coming back? We look for those spontaneous award-show moments like the one years ago when Dolly Parton ripped her dress when she got up to collect a music award and said her dad turned to her telling her that was what happened when you tried to put 20 pounds of mud in a 5 pound sack.

Sadly, we didn’t get very many of those moments at the Oscars. But then, it’s been years since there was an impulsive moment on the show. Which could explain the dwindling ratings even for a show that was one of the best productions in recent memory.

Funny you should mention hope, Dino-Ray, because right after I read your post I got next week’s episode of “Lost” in the mail.

Like Pavlov’s Dog, I jumped on it.

It’s all about hope and Hurley, with a nice little flashback to Hurley getting deserted by his dad played by Cheech Marin. (Hey, that’s not a spoiler).

Anyway, Sawyer’s back in fine form, tossing out a record-breaking number of nicknames. We’ve also got some sweet time with Jin and Sun, and good times with Charlie.

Finally, a feel-good “Lost.” And there’s even a nice bone for those of us always looking for a little mythology tidbit.

Check it out. We’ve found our “Lost” again.

DANIEL DAE KIM, JORGE GARCIA, JOSH HOLLOWAY AND THEIR DHARMA FRIEND