SueTube – Let’s talk TV with critic Susan Young

Now we know why Desmond likes to call everyone “Brother” on “Lost.”

Turns out that after a drunken spree to avoid marrying his girlfriend Ruth, Des wakes up to find Brother Campbell in his monk frock ready to take him away to monk-land.

Sure he’s found his true calling, Des is ready to take on the robe when Ruth’s brother finally tracks him down and punches him in the snout. Des gets smashed on monk wine and gets booted out of the monkery. But not before we have a little scene between Des and Brother Campbell, who tells him he’s destined for greater things.

On Brother Campbell’s desk is a picture of the brother and Ms. Hawking. If you remember, she’s the soothsayer who was working at the store where Desmond goes to buy an engagement ring for Penny during his flashback/dream after he turned the fail-safe key.

She knows all about his timeline, which went wonky after he turned the key. She tells him he has to stay the path or else everyone’s going to die. Besides, she tell him, fate has a way of “course-correcting,” which is why Des seems destined to be saving Charlie for the rest of his island stay.

CHARLIE AND DESMOND

But now we’re wondering about the girl who parachuted out of the helicopter (???) into the forest. Des thought for sure it was his beloved Penny, but we don’t know this girl.

But she knew Des. She mumbled his name right before she passed out, or died.

Do we have a new person on the island? Probably not. But we do know there is a way on and off the island if the castaways only had a submarine…or a helicopter.

Next week looks great with a Sun-centric episode.

Well, we won’t have Sanjaya to kick around any more.

Sorry, little cowboy. Time to pack up the pony and hit the trail.

Despite the efforts of Howard Stern, www.votefortheworst.com and little girls all over the planet, Sanjaya finally got the boot. We blame it on the headband. And the fact that he cheated by singing a non-country song on country night.

Oh, and also because, as Simon the eye-roller mentioned on Tuesday, Sanjaya sounded like some of the rejects from the auditions blooper reels.

We can imagine Simon’s doing the happy Snoopy dance right about now.

Sanjaya warbled out a horrendous version of Bonnie Raitt’s “Something to Talk About” while barely containing his frizzed-out hair in a tall red bandana.

When the votes were read on Wednesday night, the bottom three included Sanjaya, Blake Lewis and LaKisha Jones. Although both Lewis and Jones have proven themselves to be good singers, it’s time for both to kick up their games.

Lewis looked a little geeky _ and non-country _ in a blue argyle sweater singing the Tim McGraw barely-country ballad “When the Stars Go Blue” and LaKisha test drove former “American Idol” winner Carrie Underwood’s hit “Jesus Take the Wheel.”

Each week, LaKisha has ignored the advice of the guest vocal coaches and, as a result, she’s been making some poor song choices. I hate to say it, LaKisha, but I have a little bit of Mandisa deja vu going on right now. I think it’s getting close, and you won’t make it into the top two.

My picks right now are Jordin Sparks, who might just win this whole thing because of her youth and spunk combined with great talent, and power singer Melinda Doolittle who can do no wrong.

A notable change in the cellar-dwellers: For the first time in weeks, Phil Stacey didn’t make it into the bottom three. Phil’s been doing a good job these last couple of weeks and it finally paid off for him.

It now comes down to week to week as to who might be kicked off the show next. If LaKisha doesn’t start paying attention, she could be next.

Did Simon Crowell really roll his eyes when Chris Richardson offered a heartfelt comment about the tragedy at Virginia Tech?

Simon’s telling anyone who will listen that he was horrified to see himself on TV having that reaction.

TMZ reported this morning that Simon says “I couldn’t hear what Chris had said. I was talking to Paula. My reaction (rolling his eyes) was to what he had said previously, that singing nasally is a form of singing.”

Do we believe Simon?

Actually, he probably wasn’t paying attention to what Chris was saying, because Simon’s notorious rude when it comes to the post comments comments by the contestants.

He’s had his say and then he tends to jabber with the other judges while Ryan Seacrest talks to the singers.

But that hasty little comment Simon made later in the program was absolutely damage control. He offered up his own sympathies to the families which sounded rushed and, to use terms Simon has used on the contestants, I just didn’t feel it.

click here for video of Simon’s eye-roll and his own condolence to the Virginia Tech families.

You can’t trust what the promos say, but it was interesting that tonight’s episode of “Lost” ended with the narrator telling us that the countdown to the end was coming.

This seems to confirm what creator Damon Lindelof said in January about next season being perhaps the last for the mysterious drama.

Just a little tangent here, but did anyone else get a little teary when Sawyer and Kate came together? While we’re talking about Sawyer, we’re glad he’s back with the nicknames. Three Men and a Baby…

In any case, it seems that the writers are trying to toss a few bones to fans and critics of the series. We loved it when Sayid finally said what we’d all been thinking: Give us some answers about this island.

Tonight, our suspections about Juliet were confirmed: She’s no good.

DON’T TRUST JULIET NO MATTER HOW LONELY SHE LOOKS

She was brought to the island to “create life where life is not meant to be,” she’s told. Women who try to have babies die here. So the Others snatch the children of those unfortunate enough to land on this rock.

The Others can cure cancer. So, why did they need Jack to take out a tumor? Apparently, Jack’s not the target after all. The targets are mother Claire and mother to be Sun.

After learning about Juliet’s plan with Ben (and that comment about “after all we’ve done to them”), we know nothing good is about to happen to our castaways.

Remember that Goodwin, Juliet’s lover, was killed by Ana-Lucia after she realized he was probably an Other and not a tailie as he tried to portray. Goodwin, you’ll remember, snapped the neck of Nathan – a guy Goodwin said “was not a good man.”

And hats off to the writers, who gave us a lot of tidbits, but left the larger mysteries of the island still buried.

They also presented a few new questions like why is it better to arrive unconscious? And why was Danielle Rousseau able to have a baby on the island? We also heard the theme of good and bad people once again, as Jack tells Juliet that the crash survivors are “good people.”

I’d also like to think that Jack hasn’t really been taken in by Juliet and is just playing along until he can figure out here game. But if that’s the case, why did he let her treat Claire? Is it because he some how figured out Ben and Juliet’s game?

Ah, the plot just keeps on getting thicker.

The only surprise on tonight’s “America’s Next Top Model” was that Tyra finally let Whitney go.

WHITNEY

Is it the fact that without Whit, Tyra’s obviously the go-to plus size model on the show?

Look, we’re not against women carrying a few pounds, since we obviously have had ample exercise lifting the fork from the plate to our own mouth, but this IS a show about fashion and modeling.

It’s all about looks, baby.

Right now I’m concerned about Jaslene. She started out so strong, but as the judges noted tonight, her pictures just get weaker and weaker.

On the other hand, Natasha keeps getting stronger. That little Russian gets on my nerves, but I have to admit her pictures get more fierce each week. But my favorite is still Brittany, because she actually looks like a model to me.

And she showed up those creepy twins tonight. I never thought the twins were all that, but seeing them fade in the picture with Brittany justified those feelings.

Next girl out has got to be Jael.

Not to be rude, as our pal Simon would say, but Haley Scarnato has overstayed her “American Idol” visit by at least a few weeks. Her ouster tonight was a long time coming.

HALEY’S LAST SONG – THANK YOU VOTERS

Haley’s performance last night was enough to make dogs howl and children cry. She cavorted on stage like she was trying to win a third-rate talent contest. And once again showing that if the title was for Best American Legs, she’d certainly be in the running.

Also in the bottom tier with Haley was Chris Richardson and Phil Stacey. We like Phil pretty well, but as the field narrows he’s going to find himself squeezed out of the competition.

He’s certainly the next one off the good ship Idol next week. After Phil, we’re betting it will be Chris.

Which brings us to the final five.

And we’re betting that group will be Sanjaya, Blake, Jordin, LaKisha and Melinda.

Let’s hope the Sanjaya insanity stops there, and won’t affect the best singers in the bunch. Although we have to admit we’re a little interested in seeing Sanjaya go country next week with Martina McBride

While were in the business of ranking, how about those coaches each week? Jennifer Lopez was sweet and tried her best to inspire the “Idols.” She obviously does watch the show and cares a lot about the singers.

JENNIFER SHOWS HOW TO DO IT LATIN STYLE

But we still have to put Gwen Stefani up as one of the best coaches so far, followed closely by Lulu. Tony Bennett looked like he’d rather be anywhere else. Peter Noone was nice enough, but didn’t offer much in the way of good advice. And dear diva Diana Ross simply seemed to be more wrapped up in herself than in genuinely helping the “Idols.”

It’s baaacck.

We’re talking about the black smoke that smotes the bad guys and scares everyone else. Tonight, it chased down Kate and Juliet. Juliet says The Others don’t know what it is either, they just know that it can’t get past their super-shield fences.

What’s the flash? What’s the gear noise? How can black smoke be so stinkin’ loud?

Oh, and Sawyer’s a good guy who is about to be a papa – even though he doesn’t know it. Turns out the woman he conned and dumped is pregnant, and that she and Kate had a close encounter of the mom kind in the Before Crash world.

And Kate’s got second thoughts about boinking Sawyer now that she knows Jack and Others played peep show.

The interaction between Hurley and Sawyer always makes me smile. But I’m beginning to be so over Locke. We know that Locke is the key to the island. But does he have to be such a jerk about it?

What was that pious speech he gave to Kate about how he tried to tell them what a good person she was, but they had the rap sheet and aren’t quite as forgiving and forgetting about the past.

When are the Others going to get smoked?

And does anyone trust Juliet? I’m with Sayid about the trust factor.

Hey, where would those singers be without the people who write the songs?

Now, “American Idol” producer Simon Fuller is asking for potential hit makers to join the American Idol Songwriter competition, giving Idol fans their first chance to write the next American Idol’s hit single.

Additional details and online submissions, which open today, can be found at www.americanidol.com

Fuller and his 19 Entertainment A&R staff will select the initial Top 20 songs from all the entries. Beginning May 2, fans will then be able to go online, listen to and vote for their favorite songs.

The song chosen by the nation will then be performed live in front of millions of viewers on the season’s finale.

But that is only the beginning.

The song will be recorded and released by this year’s American Idol. The winning songwriter will receive a music publishing deal with 19 Entertainment; a cash advance on royalties; and the thrill of watching their song belted out by “American Idol” finalists on the show’s final episodes.

Key Dates for American Idol Songwriter Competition

April 4 – Launch contestant submission phase on

April 17 – Submission phase ends

May 2 – Online voting commences

May 8 – Online voting closes

May 22 – The songwriting winner announced on American Idol finale

At least we know who is in the top, middle and bottom of the “American Idol” competition.

Tonight, Gina Glocksen, Haley Scarnato and Phil Stacey all landed in the bottom. Phil got the first reprieve. I thought he sang better last night, and I think that saved him.

Then it came down to the rocker and the wannabe Vegas show girl.

Apparently, Haley’s scheme to keep viewers interested with her revealing wardrobe just begging for a malfunction is working.

Voters ousted Gina, who was significantly better last night than Haley. At least Gina got a chance to do a sing-off.

It was more than we got from Tony Bennett, whose bout with a cold led to the legendary singer’s no-show. He was replaced by the next generation of crooners, Michael Buble.

Michael managed not only to wow the crowd with his singing, but also with his joke on former contestant Antonella Barba.

“American Idol” let viewers know who was in the first tier, and it came as no surprise to see LaKisha Jones, Melinda Doolittle and Jordin Sparks on top.

That left boy singers Chris Richardson, Blake Lewis and Sanjaya Malakar planted firmly in the middle.

Can it be that Sanjaya’s time can be coming close to the end?

Let’s say some big radio jock _ we’ll call him Howard Stern _ decides he’ll mess around with the biggest show on TV.

Can he really muck up a show dependent on American voting, a show we’ll call “American Idol”?

Producer Ken Warwick says no way in Hades.

With close to 40 million votes cast each week, Warwick says the impact anyone like Stern has on the program is “minimal.”

“There’s very little hype anyone could do that would affect the vast number of votes cast, even if all of Howard Stern’s audience cast votes,” Warwick ays. “The gap above and below Sanjaya (isn’t affected by Stern).”

So, Sanjaya is doing this all on his own merits?

“Say what you may, but he’s a good looking kid and young girls like him,” Warwick says. “He’s not as bad as everyone makes him out to be. Part of this business is communicating with your audience and he does that. If the American public likes him enough to put him up at the end, it’s out of my hands. We always have one or two contestants that shine for reasons you think they shouldn’t, but it’s part and parcel of the show.”

Chris Sligh, who was voted out last week, says he thinks people are coming down too hard on Sanjaya.

“I think that people underestimate Sanjaya. I think that Sanjaya is actually a very good vocalist,” Sligh says. “I have a lot of respect for him. I do not envy his position at all. He’s a very, very sweet kid and he’s just 17. I think that he gets a bum rap.”

Warwick says that people might be surprised at how fluid the weekly results are, with so-called front runners often ending up near the bottom of the mix.

LaKisha Jones and Melinda Doolittle aren’t necessary shoo-ins just because he and others believe they are the best singers on the show.

“Last week, there was someone who was second that the week before was ninth or 10th. They move around like no tomorrow,” Warwick says. “It depends on their performance (that week). Some grow through the series. It’s always the way that the winner comes up in the competition and was not there (in the top) from the beginning.”

Which bodes well for someone like Jordin Sparks.

Warwick says in the history of the show, there has only been one contestant who was always the favorite who ended up winning the entire competition.

Fantasia.

“America normally gets it right in the end, and I’m confident that Sanjaya will not be the `American Idol,’ ” Warwick says. “(If he does), it’s because the American public wants him. (`American Idol’ has always been) the story of a journey of somebody who started out with nothing and ended up a huge star.”