SueTube – Let’s talk TV with critic Susan Young

The only surprise on tonight’s “America’s Next Top Model” was that Tyra finally let Whitney go.

WHITNEY

Is it the fact that without Whit, Tyra’s obviously the go-to plus size model on the show?

Look, we’re not against women carrying a few pounds, since we obviously have had ample exercise lifting the fork from the plate to our own mouth, but this IS a show about fashion and modeling.

It’s all about looks, baby.

Right now I’m concerned about Jaslene. She started out so strong, but as the judges noted tonight, her pictures just get weaker and weaker.

On the other hand, Natasha keeps getting stronger. That little Russian gets on my nerves, but I have to admit her pictures get more fierce each week. But my favorite is still Brittany, because she actually looks like a model to me.

And she showed up those creepy twins tonight. I never thought the twins were all that, but seeing them fade in the picture with Brittany justified those feelings.

Next girl out has got to be Jael.

Not to be rude, as our pal Simon would say, but Haley Scarnato has overstayed her “American Idol” visit by at least a few weeks. Her ouster tonight was a long time coming.

HALEY’S LAST SONG – THANK YOU VOTERS

Haley’s performance last night was enough to make dogs howl and children cry. She cavorted on stage like she was trying to win a third-rate talent contest. And once again showing that if the title was for Best American Legs, she’d certainly be in the running.

Also in the bottom tier with Haley was Chris Richardson and Phil Stacey. We like Phil pretty well, but as the field narrows he’s going to find himself squeezed out of the competition.

He’s certainly the next one off the good ship Idol next week. After Phil, we’re betting it will be Chris.

Which brings us to the final five.

And we’re betting that group will be Sanjaya, Blake, Jordin, LaKisha and Melinda.

Let’s hope the Sanjaya insanity stops there, and won’t affect the best singers in the bunch. Although we have to admit we’re a little interested in seeing Sanjaya go country next week with Martina McBride

While were in the business of ranking, how about those coaches each week? Jennifer Lopez was sweet and tried her best to inspire the “Idols.” She obviously does watch the show and cares a lot about the singers.

JENNIFER SHOWS HOW TO DO IT LATIN STYLE

But we still have to put Gwen Stefani up as one of the best coaches so far, followed closely by Lulu. Tony Bennett looked like he’d rather be anywhere else. Peter Noone was nice enough, but didn’t offer much in the way of good advice. And dear diva Diana Ross simply seemed to be more wrapped up in herself than in genuinely helping the “Idols.”

It’s baaacck.

We’re talking about the black smoke that smotes the bad guys and scares everyone else. Tonight, it chased down Kate and Juliet. Juliet says The Others don’t know what it is either, they just know that it can’t get past their super-shield fences.

What’s the flash? What’s the gear noise? How can black smoke be so stinkin’ loud?

Oh, and Sawyer’s a good guy who is about to be a papa – even though he doesn’t know it. Turns out the woman he conned and dumped is pregnant, and that she and Kate had a close encounter of the mom kind in the Before Crash world.

And Kate’s got second thoughts about boinking Sawyer now that she knows Jack and Others played peep show.

The interaction between Hurley and Sawyer always makes me smile. But I’m beginning to be so over Locke. We know that Locke is the key to the island. But does he have to be such a jerk about it?

What was that pious speech he gave to Kate about how he tried to tell them what a good person she was, but they had the rap sheet and aren’t quite as forgiving and forgetting about the past.

When are the Others going to get smoked?

And does anyone trust Juliet? I’m with Sayid about the trust factor.

Hey, where would those singers be without the people who write the songs?

Now, “American Idol” producer Simon Fuller is asking for potential hit makers to join the American Idol Songwriter competition, giving Idol fans their first chance to write the next American Idol’s hit single.

Additional details and online submissions, which open today, can be found at www.americanidol.com

Fuller and his 19 Entertainment A&R staff will select the initial Top 20 songs from all the entries. Beginning May 2, fans will then be able to go online, listen to and vote for their favorite songs.

The song chosen by the nation will then be performed live in front of millions of viewers on the season’s finale.

But that is only the beginning.

The song will be recorded and released by this year’s American Idol. The winning songwriter will receive a music publishing deal with 19 Entertainment; a cash advance on royalties; and the thrill of watching their song belted out by “American Idol” finalists on the show’s final episodes.

Key Dates for American Idol Songwriter Competition

April 4 – Launch contestant submission phase on

April 17 – Submission phase ends

May 2 – Online voting commences

May 8 – Online voting closes

May 22 – The songwriting winner announced on American Idol finale

At least we know who is in the top, middle and bottom of the “American Idol” competition.

Tonight, Gina Glocksen, Haley Scarnato and Phil Stacey all landed in the bottom. Phil got the first reprieve. I thought he sang better last night, and I think that saved him.

Then it came down to the rocker and the wannabe Vegas show girl.

Apparently, Haley’s scheme to keep viewers interested with her revealing wardrobe just begging for a malfunction is working.

Voters ousted Gina, who was significantly better last night than Haley. At least Gina got a chance to do a sing-off.

It was more than we got from Tony Bennett, whose bout with a cold led to the legendary singer’s no-show. He was replaced by the next generation of crooners, Michael Buble.

Michael managed not only to wow the crowd with his singing, but also with his joke on former contestant Antonella Barba.

“American Idol” let viewers know who was in the first tier, and it came as no surprise to see LaKisha Jones, Melinda Doolittle and Jordin Sparks on top.

That left boy singers Chris Richardson, Blake Lewis and Sanjaya Malakar planted firmly in the middle.

Can it be that Sanjaya’s time can be coming close to the end?

Let’s say some big radio jock _ we’ll call him Howard Stern _ decides he’ll mess around with the biggest show on TV.

Can he really muck up a show dependent on American voting, a show we’ll call “American Idol”?

Producer Ken Warwick says no way in Hades.

With close to 40 million votes cast each week, Warwick says the impact anyone like Stern has on the program is “minimal.”

“There’s very little hype anyone could do that would affect the vast number of votes cast, even if all of Howard Stern’s audience cast votes,” Warwick ays. “The gap above and below Sanjaya (isn’t affected by Stern).”

So, Sanjaya is doing this all on his own merits?

“Say what you may, but he’s a good looking kid and young girls like him,” Warwick says. “He’s not as bad as everyone makes him out to be. Part of this business is communicating with your audience and he does that. If the American public likes him enough to put him up at the end, it’s out of my hands. We always have one or two contestants that shine for reasons you think they shouldn’t, but it’s part and parcel of the show.”

Chris Sligh, who was voted out last week, says he thinks people are coming down too hard on Sanjaya.

“I think that people underestimate Sanjaya. I think that Sanjaya is actually a very good vocalist,” Sligh says. “I have a lot of respect for him. I do not envy his position at all. He’s a very, very sweet kid and he’s just 17. I think that he gets a bum rap.”

Warwick says that people might be surprised at how fluid the weekly results are, with so-called front runners often ending up near the bottom of the mix.

LaKisha Jones and Melinda Doolittle aren’t necessary shoo-ins just because he and others believe they are the best singers on the show.

“Last week, there was someone who was second that the week before was ninth or 10th. They move around like no tomorrow,” Warwick says. “It depends on their performance (that week). Some grow through the series. It’s always the way that the winner comes up in the competition and was not there (in the top) from the beginning.”

Which bodes well for someone like Jordin Sparks.

Warwick says in the history of the show, there has only been one contestant who was always the favorite who ended up winning the entire competition.

Fantasia.

“America normally gets it right in the end, and I’m confident that Sanjaya will not be the `American Idol,’ ” Warwick says. “(If he does), it’s because the American public wants him. (`American Idol’ has always been) the story of a journey of somebody who started out with nothing and ended up a huge star.”

J.J. Abrams has long professed his love of “The Twilight Zone” and, while he didn’t write this week’s episode, you knew this had to have his stamp of approval.

Creator Damon Lindelof has said that some characters only exist to serve other characters, and that seems to be the fate of Nikki and Paulo.

On one hand, we had the little “Zone” homage about how this wicked couple pays dearly for their crimes. On the other, we have another view of the events that have unfolded since the crash.

But what I thought was the most significant scene was between Ben and Juliet in the hatch, monitoring Jack and plotting how to get Jack to do the surgery on Ben.

Paulo knew that Jack, Kate and Sawyer would be kidnapped by The Others. Interesting.

Nikki stumbles out of the jungle, falling down in front of Sawyer and Hurley

In any event, the episode ended in typical “Twilight Zone” fashion with the two getting buried alive – a just punishment for two murderers.

And now we’ll find out how Sawyer, and Charlie, will pay for their role in kidnapping Sun after Charlie confessed all to Sun.

Sun slaps Sawyer after finding out he is the one who kidnapped her.

Next week, Sawyer gets slapped with the reality of being selfish, while Kate and Juliet spend some quality time together.

The week after, Jack returns to the Lost tribe and brings Juliet with him.

I don’t trust Juliet, and I think she’s still playing a game on Jack with the help of Ben. But maybe that’s just me.

Let’s discuss.

So it’s bye-bye Mr. American Idol Sligh.

Chris Sligh, the only other guy outside of Sanjaya to bring any kind of non-singing sparkle to the show has been given the hook.

Haley Scarnato (L) shows a sigh of relief after Chris Sligh (R) is eliminated on AMERICAN IDOL Wednesday

Sligh man, why oh why did you try to do No Doubt’s “Don’t Speak”? It was a song obviously beyond your reach. We’ll miss you, and your saucy style.

And yes, we heard you when you loudly whispered to Phil Stacey that he owed you 50 bucks. Apparently, Phil believed he was set to go before you did.

Don’t worry Phil. There’s always next week.

As for the Sanjaya freight train, or should I say fright train?, it’s still going strong. We don’t mind if he stays on the show while the bottom and middle rung people are voted off.

Please, just stop the insanity before we get to Melinda, LaKisha, Jordin, Blake and even Chris.

Last night, Simon looked at Sanjaya and said, “It doesn’t really matter what we say anymore.”

That’s right Simon. The Sanjaya train is on the track and barrelling through this competition.

So I’ve decided to take another view of Sanjaya. To tell you the truth, without the Sanjaya factor, it would be a rather dull season.

Mr. Pony-Hawk has little singing talent, but he’s great when it comes to entertainment.

PONY BOY

First, let’s say how great Gwen Stefani was last night. She looked fabulous (where can we find that top?) and her comments were spot on. She gave a little shrug when it came to Sanjaya. She knows he’s become the clown in the circus.

GWEN LOOKED GREAT

And she acknowledged that both Melinda and LaKisha don’t really need her help, although I think everyone can use a little Stefani in their life.

I still love Melinda’s voice, but her aw-shucks attitude is getting a little stale. Embrace your talent and go a little diva. Time to shed the meek and start adding some dazzle.

And LaKisha needs to get some personality into her performances.

If you want to put a little more Sanjaya into your life, check out www.sanjayafannetwork.com.

Web master Clint says “ It was designed with the hopes that we can all influence American Idol and make an otherwise dull season more interesting and perhaps see if Simon Cowell will really quit.”

I don’t want Simon to quit, but a little tweaking is always fun.

Stephanie Edwards says she believe everyone left on “American Idol” deserves to be there.

Even Sanjaya Malakar, who has become the darling of www.votefortheworst.com and has Howard Stern urging his listeners to vote for him in order to tweak the “Idol” results.

“None of the contestants ever talked about (the Sanjaya controversy),” Stephanie says after she was ousted from the competition last week. “I believe everyone in the top 10 deserves to be there. We are all good singers, now it’s just about America voting for their favorites.”

But when pressed, she admitted that while she wasn’t surprised she was in the bottom, she never expected to see Chris Richardson standing next to her.

“I kind of figured I was going to be in the bottom, but then I saw Chris and thought this is a crazy bottom two,” Stephanie says. “I’m OK. Now.”

Getting the boot means Stephanie won’t get to go on tour because only the top 10 go. But she’s able to record a track on the “American Idol” CD.

STEPHANIE SINGING ON TUESDAY NIGHT

For us, the shock still hasn’t worn off over seeing Stephanie and Justin Timberlake-like Chris standing in the final 2 last Wednesday while Sanjaya and other lesser lights were safe.

We believe Haley Scarnato’s barely there silk blouse promising a potential wardrobe malfunction may have saved her through this round.

HALEY PUT IT ALL OUT THERE ON TUESDAY

Singers really put it all on the line because making it into the top 10 meant tour time and a great potential for getting a recording deal.

Stephanie says she still hopes to get a recording contract, and that the one thing she wishes viewers could have seen was her goofy side.

“I’m not as mature as they think I am, but I guess I seemed mature,” says the gracious 19-year-old. “(The audience) didn’t get to see the goofy side of me because (`American Idol’) never showed that.”

And she says that she’s actually glad that the show was running long, so the television audience didn’t have to see her crying as she performed for the last time in front of the judges, the other contestants and the studio audience.

STEPHANIE BEFORE SHE SANG FOR THE STUDIO AUDIENCE

Stephanie, you were a class act and we’ll miss you. But we don’t think this is the last we’ll hear of you.