SueTube – Let’s talk TV with critic Susan Young

Joanna Kerns, who grew up in Lafayette and is best known as all-American mom on “Growing Pains’’ remembers a few growing pains of her own.

One day, she brought her young daughter Ashley to the set of “Growing Pains,’’ and a television reporter came over to talk to her.

“All of a sudden, I hear her telling the reporter `she’s mean. She’s horrible and she spanks me. I tell you, she’s no Maggie Seaver.’ ‘’ says Kerns, who was at a reception held for TV critics by the Directors Guild.

“Well, I didn’t want to be there,’’ explains her now-grown daughter, who came with Kerns to the reception. “That’s what kids do.’’

These days Kerns, who also lived in Santa Clara while her older sister and Olympic Gold Medalist Donna DeVarona was training for the 1964 Olympics, now spends most of her time directing series TV like “ER.’’

Last week, Courteney Cox said she was going to have her best friend Jennifer Aniston guest star on Cox’s Fx series “Dirt” about the sleazy world of tabloid journalism and today we have confirmation.

Jen — hey, if the tabs can call her Jen, can’t we? — plays a rival magazine editor on the season finale at 10 p.m. March 27. This marks the first time that Courteney and Jen have worked together since “Friends” went off the air in 2004 after being on NBC for a decade.

I think we can all agree that Jen knows a little something about the slimy side of tabloid journalism. It’s not easy working through any divorce, but most people don’t get slapped in the face with it every time they go grocery shopping or go to the airport.

Wait, what was I thinking? OK, at least when the multi-millionaire goes to the airport.

Although most critics have been less than kind to the new series, the viewers have been more welcoming. The series has been averaging 3 million viewers, far short of the “Friends” numbers, but more than respectable for a cable channel.

For those who haven’t seen the show, Courteney plays Lucy Spiller, the ruthless editor-in-chief of the tabloid DirtNow. She relies on friend since high school, Don Konkey (Ian Hart), a schizophrenic paparazzo, to get the money shot.

Like Courteney said in an earlier interview (please scroll down), even she can’t pass up looking at the pictures in the tabs.

FX airs four weekly telecasts of each episode – 10 and 11 p.m. Tuesday, 11 p.m. Friday and 10 p.m. Sunday. The total viewers for all four runs delivered 7.8 total viewers in its first week.

Everyone in the “Ugly Betty” cast showed up in some amazing fashions — and were told to make sure they knew the name of the designers.

So when Michael Urie, who looked fabulous in a hip jacket, pants and a buckle bigger than the any you’ll see at the rodeo, was asked what he was wearing, he knew right away.

Well, he knew because, as he showed me, he had a cheat sheet in his pocket.

“They told me, but I’ll never remember,” says Michael, who plays Vanessa Williams’ assistant in the show. “But I do remember the buckle is from Disney Couture.”

Disney couture?

Well, I’d tell you the names of the other designers, but like Michael, I couldn’t remember and didn’t get a cheat sheet.

On Tuesday, some members of the Television Critics Association will be visiting the “Ugly Betty” set. The cast, however, was a little miffed that they were the first stop on a day of set visits that includes “Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip,” “24,” and “NCIS.”

It’s also the morning after the Golden Globes, and as we know now, they won several awards including Best Comedy and Best Actress in a Comedy for America Ferrera.

We overheard someone say that they tried to switch with “Studio 60” because they weren’t even nominated for anything.

(Quick correction: Sarah Paulson was nominated for best supporting actress in a drama)

Low blow. But true. And no, “60” refused to budge. Guess they don’t respond to sweet talk.

Evangeline Lilly, our dear Kate on “Lost,” beat a hasty exit after the “Lost” panel on Sunday and never made it to the ABC party.

Turns out she was skittish about being asked about the fire that claimed her home in Hawaii and a subsequent interview in which she said that she it might be a sign that she needs to change her life. And that change would include leaving the show.

No, we don’t know if that’s true. What we do know is that Evangeline has always been gracious and friendly with the press, so I hope that no one starts writing about any diva behavior.

Josh Holloway (Sawyer) basked in the glow of affection during the ABC party on Sunday. He chatted with star-struck young actors from ABC Family and Disney Shows and posed for pictures with the cast of Disney Channel’s “Suite Life of Zack & Cody.”

But while we were talking, a security guard walks up and asks Josh to give him his name tag.

“I think I need this to get into the party,” Josh tells the guard.

“No, i’m the one checking badges and I’ll let you in,” says the guard.

So Josh handed him the badge and we exchange a look, with a mention about eBay, Josh shrugs and says, “Well, I guess.”

After mentioning it to an ABC exec, he quickly tracked down the “guard” who turned out to be someone who dressed like a guard, complete with headset. He was quickly removed from the property.

Josh says he’s grateful to the series, because he knows how close he came to getting the boot.

“He was the lowest-tested actor, and people just hated him,” says executive producer Damon Lindelof. “But then we did the flashback episode and showed him as this little boy cowering under a bed and suddenly everyone loved him.”

Strangest note from a network censor?

“Desperate Housewives’’ creator/producer Marc Cherry says it came in the pilot episode of his show and the scene where Eva Longoria is basking in the afterglow with her 17-year-old gardener.

“ The censor looked and said, “Does she have to smoke?’ ‘’ Cherry says. “And I went, “So you’re good with the statutory rape thing?” So I thought that was odd.’’

In the Jennifer Saunders “AB Fab’’) series “Clatterford,” which will air on BBC America, there’s a line in which a socialite remarks about a party at “Madonna and Ritchie’s place’’ that was fantastic until Sting started playing the lute.

We can relate.

At the PBS party Saturday night, Sting performed in front of about 100 critics in a small room. Sting’s fascination with Elizabethan songwriter John Dowland has escalated into a record album and a special to be aired on PBS’ “Great Performances.’’

I’m good for about 15 minutes of lute music, even if it is Sting playing less than 20 feet in front of me. He played for an hour. But at least he topped it off with three rockin’ standards: Robert Johnson’s smoking “Hellhound on My Trail,’’ his lyrical “Fields of Gold’’ and the classic “Message in a Bottle.’’

In a post-concert interview, he says that he wants to do something to celebrate the 30th anniversary of The Police, although he isn’t quite sure what that might be. “We started 30 years ago, so it would be nice to do something to celebrate,’’ Sting says. “We don’t quite know what, but we’re talking about it.’’

And he fielded the question about his odd moniker.

“I’d always had nicknames, but I was in a band, and the band nickname was Sting because it suited my personality. It’s a silly name. You’ll get used to it,’’ Sting quipped. “ It’s cryptic and it’s very simple to sign, not like Engelbert Humperdinck.’’

“Grey’s Anatomy’’ producer Shonda Rhimes says she never thought about Burke (Isaiah Washington) and Cristina (Sandra Oh) getting together until she began observing the chemistry between the two actors on the set.

“I could see there was something special between them, and it inspired me to write more,’’ Rhimes says.

What she may or may not know is that was exactly what Washington and Oh had worked so hard to accomplish.

“Look, we went into this series seeing Meredith (Ellen Pompeo) and Derek (Patrick Dempsey) getting all the good screen time, and we said, `If we don’t do something soon, we’re going to fade into the background,’ ” Washington says. “So we conciously began playing around on the set, pushing the chemistry and it was noticed, as we knew it would be.’’

Ok, the first thing we should all keep in mind is that “Lost” isn’t our life, it’s a TV show.

And of course, if we were on that freakin’ island and had the chance to talk to The Others, we’d be asking much better questions than Jack, Sawyer and Kate.

Any Lostie can tell you that it gets frustrating when Jack has the opportunity to ask The Others a question and he ends up just wasting the opportunity.

“We’d be asking much better questions too,’’ executive producer Damon Lindelof says. “Unfortunately, if Jack asked the questions we wanted him to, The Others would answer none of them. which probably would not be that interesting to watch.’’
As Jack says in the last episode of this season, “After all you’ve put me through, I deserve some answers.’’ That’s the same sentiment many of the fans have as well.

Lindelof says they understand the frustration of fans and critics that the characters don’t talk more amongst themselves about the mystery of the island.

“The reality is, we’ve written those scenes and in some cases we even shoot those scenes. And whether you take our word for it or not, we think they don’t work; they’re incredibly boring, ‘’ Lindelof says. “If, for example, everybody got together and
basically Sayid said, “Well, I’ll tell you, I found this wire and I followed this wire,” and then somebody else said, “Wait a minute. That’s an interesting” — and they started
to put it together, it would make for very uninvolving television.’’

“Lost’’ will have a beginning, a middle and an end, however. After the session, Lindelof spoke frankly about the future of the series, which he says may end around the 100th episode.

“I don’t want it to become like `The X-Files,’ which ended two years after it should have. Once Scully and Mulder were gone, the show should have been gone,’’ Lindelof says. `And we don’t want to be like `The O.C.’ where we say that, oh, we decided this is our last season when you’ve already started the season. Dude, you didn’t quit, you were canceled. We want to announce it in advance and give the fans a payoff.’’

It’s probably because I was sitting next to our fashion writer Dino-Ray Ramos, who came down to Pasadena this weekend to check out the TV fashion scene, but suddenly all I about a could see was fashion trends.

During the sobering session on HBO films hard-hitting “Life Support” mother dealing with HIV, my eyes couldn’t veer away from the show’s producer Jamie Foxx (Dreamgirls).

He was wearing a green suit with what looked like a green sweater vest and green boots. After the session, he allowed a quick fondling of the material for reporting sake.

Turned out the suit was velvet and the sweater was actually a silk-like shirt. And we think he agreed that it was from London’s master tailor Ozwald Boateng, but after the inspection, he was jammed with people wanted to know if he was going to the Golden Globes.

“I think we’re going to do well there,” Foxx says.

As for Queen Latifah, you just can’t believe how magnificent she looks until you get right next to her. Towering at close to six feet in heels, she wore a fabulous black dress.
In response to a movement towards larger models, Latifah says it’s about time.

“I don’t have anything against skinny girls, but we come in all shapes and sizes and we need something nice to wear,” Latifah says. “I’m not saying they have to design only larger sizes, but they need to start facing the reality of what real women look like.”

Stunning Jaclyn Smith, former “Charlie’s Angels” star and now host of the upcoming Bravo series “Shear Genius” is returning to her roots.

The former Breck girl will be the lead judges on the reality competition series centering on the competitive, but most wacky, world of hairstyling. Production starts shortly and the show will air this spring.

Smith, 61, looked fabulous in a vintage Chanel jacket and jeans. When we mentioned a designer who said that a good pair of jeans costs about $170, Smith looked shocked.

“That’s ridiculous,” Smith says. “These are my jeans from my Kmart line and they cost a fraction of that and are as stylish as any jeans.”

Of course, topping them off with Chanel doesn’t hurt either.

And of course, we had to ask for an update on her pal Farrah Fawcett, who is recovering from cancer treatment.

“I just talked to her day before yesterday and she’s doing just great,” Smith says. “She really sounds good and I think she’s going to get through this just fine.”