SueTube – Let’s talk TV with critic Susan Young

Don’t count on Portia for directions

Nothing’s cooler than visiting a Hollywood set, unless your tour guides are the stars of the show.

“Arrested Development” star Portia de Rossi may not be the best guide around, however.

“I always get lost between the sets,” she says. “Someone walks me to the set while I have my head stuck in a script.”

Portia has been making headlines as the new girlfriend of Ellen Degeneres, and she says the two of them had a great time at the Golden Globes last Sunday — even if the fire marshal was shutting down overbooked parties before they could even get into ’em.

Scattered around the set are real pictures of the actors, including one of Portia before she changed her nose and one of Jessica Walters and her daughter and the guy she used to date.

“I don’t even know his name,” says Walters. “If he wasn’t in the middle, I would have cut him out of the picture.”

The picture hangs in the childishly decorated room of her on-screen son Buster.

In this week’s episode, mom Walters discovers Buster in bed with Lupe, the maid. In true nasty mom fashion, she barks at him, ”You don’t need the comfort of an immigrant in your mother’s old stirrup pants…”

And what else would you expect from the shopping list on the fridge: Need: Milk, Sugar, Lemon Tea, Paper Towels, Weed.

Gotta love that show.

How to keep your dress on

Later, we chugged over to the Warner Bros. lot for a 50th anniversary party honoring the company’s TV division.

All the stars of DVD land, from “Dukes of Hazzard” to “The O.C.” were there _ well, at least some of them were.

Woodside’s Linda Cardellini was there with her longtime boyfriend Jason Segel. The two met on “Freaks and Geeks,” but now she’s working on “ER.”

Linda says Jason has been working on “Alias” and “CSI,” and that he kissed hottie Jennifer Garner.

“Let’s get this right,” jokes Jason. “SHE made out with ME.”

Peter Gallagher, Melinda Clarke and Mischa Barton all showed up to represent “The O.C.”

Barton wore a lovely frock she’d ordered after seeing it in a fashion magazine. The gauzy, strapless dress was a thing of beauty, except poor Mischa spent the whole night trying to keep it from doing a Tara Reid.

Umm, isn’t there that sticky stuff you put on dresses like these to make them stay in place?

“Oh, sure. Where were you when I dressed myself?” Mischa shoots back.

Mischa’s also a little concerned about her new love interest on the show, a woman named Alex (Olivia Wilde).

“I was a little shocked and then cautious. I mean, kids watch this show,” says Mischa, apparently forgetting about the sex, drugs and alcohol in her own character’s life. “But then I went to an arts high school in New York and (testing the lesbian waters as teens) was absolutely an issue.”

And she seemed to completely forget about the impact on little Seth’s life. Seth (Adam Brody) thinks Alex is his girlfriend.

I tried to get the “Nip/Tuck” people to reveal who the Carver was, but they just laughed. Even when you promise to pinky swear, it’s a no go.

But we did discover that “Gilmore Girls” couple Lorelai (Lauren Graham) and Luke (Scott Patterson) might not be a happy twosome for much longer.

“Can’t happen forever,” Graham says. “It’s TV…how could it last?”

It’s Daisy Duke!

“La Femme Nikita” star Peta Wilson was thrilled to talk to “Dallas” star Larry Hagman, but not because he was once J.R. Ewing.

“I’m from Australia and we didn’t watch much TV, but I loved watching ‘I Dream of Jeannie’ and acting out scenes from that show,” she gushed before doing the Genie jiggle for him.

And how much cooler does it get than seeing former Bo Duke (John Schneider) and Daisy Duke (Catherine Bach) hanging out by the old General Lee? I almost thought they might jump through the window and speed away.

After being told that a young actor on “Veronica Mars” had been moaning about being called “The poor man’s Shane West” in print, the real Shane (“ER”) said he could relate.

“I used to be called Neil Patrick Harris,” Shane says. “Well, we both had kind of spiky hair.”