Hangin’ with Hagrid

Harry Potter’s pal Hagrid got lost in the Ritz Carlton.

Easy to do, since it’s a sprawling place. Sometimes you can’t tell if you are north or south of Hogsworth. And Hagrid needed to go see some friends at the pool.

OK, so it was really actor Robbie Coltrane, who was here in Pasadena to talk to critics about his new “Cracker” movie airing on BBC America later.

Coltrane rocked the house with his hilarious banter, something that’s not easy to do. Just ask Damon Wayons, who thinks that talking vaginas are the ultimate chuckle. Wayons led a snorefest trying to get people interested in his new Showtime sketch comedy series “Underground.”

Note to Wayons: Just because you can say those things on cable, doesn’t make it any funnier.

Anyway, Coltrane riffed on staying in his native Scotland instead of living in L.A. and starring in an American series.

“It sounds so ungrateful. You think of all those people who hitchhike to Los Angeles in the hope of having a small part in something andoh, so Mr. Big Guy from Scotland can’t be bothered.

“But I have this terrifying vision of my children with a platinum card going, ‘You tell the maitre d’ that I want…’ or ‘Oh, it’s raining here AGAIN daddy.’ That’s all I’m saying.”

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