SueTube – Let’s talk TV with critic Susan Young

Over lunch at a local burger joint with my TV obsessed pals, I asked if anyone had watched Heroes this week.

Cue the crickets.

Not that long ago, we could have spent hours talking about the shows we loved. Now, it’s like a flashpoint love affair gone cold. A few comments on Mad Men, including the confession by two buddies that they just couldn’t get into the dark drama. No one even knew the top contender on America’s Next Top Model, and not even a whisper about who was robbed on the recently wrapped Project Runway.

And that’s just the top layer of this collapsing cake.

Prison Break was worth watching just to see Wentworth Miller. Even a little WM isn’t enough to cover for a show that brought a beheaded woman back to life. That title has been banned from the DVR for life. One Tree Hill‘s time warp turned the once spankin’ hot show into a silly daytime soap opera.

We used to spout the hug-it-out buzz from Entourage. Now we have to think twice to remember if the HBO show is even on. Still on air, but it’s coming from life support.

So where’s the snap? Where’s that Leg-en-wait for it- dary moments? Right now, the most quotable lines on TV are coming from political candidates.

And that’s just wrong.

We’ve got the Palin-McCain Maverick drinking game. The Joe the Plumber cracks. Even some Mr. Burns-McCain look-alike contests. Next time you hear Main Street vs. Wall Street, feel free to knock back a shot of Jack for me.

What we don’t have are any poppin’ TV series moments. It’s enough to make The Soup hang up its ladle.

At what point did Heroes go from a show we couldn’t wait to see to something that looks as appealing as a term paper? Pass the meds, I think I’m slipping into a coma.

Parkman is walking around with a turtle, for cripes sake. That’s almost as bad as the Twin Peaks log lady. Mohinder has some freaky fly deal going on by wrapping his victims up in cocoons. We don’t know and we don’t care how past and present Peter work.

And how many times do we have to watch Hiro attempt sneaking up on a guy who can see the future, only to get bonked on the bean. Clearly, these writers have been watching too many Roadrunner episodes.

Project Runway just concluded, if anyone was paying attention. Which they weren’t. Because it never got off the ground this year. Kenley’s incessant whining wasn’t even fun mocking material. Tim Gunn couldn’t have looked more disgusted this season if someone had just asked him to wear Wal-Mart apparel.

Bravo’s lawsuit over the series moving to Lifetime seems ridiculous at this point. Open that door, and don’t let it hit you on the backside as you slink out after this stinker season.

Our once beloved Grey’s Anatomy started skidding with Gizzie. George and Izzie? Please. You’d get more heat out of a wet match. MerDer bludgeoned the show. But the real turnoff point came when Callie and Erica hooked up. You can’t jump a bigger shark than turning your hot for anything in pants character into a lesbian.

Although the tantalizing idea of more Kevin McKidd as Dr. Owen Hunt bringing Cristina Yang to a rolling boil does have me thinking of watching Grey’s live again. For a long time, the episodes just stacked up on the DVR while we dreaded the thought of plowing through them all in a marathon weekend.

So maybe Grey’s will come through.

But in the meantime, the only thing we’re looking forward to is the return of Flight of the Conchords in January. Bret and Jemaine, don’t let us down mates.