SueTube – Let’s talk TV with critic Susan Young

So it’s bye-bye Mr. American Idol Sligh.

Chris Sligh, the only other guy outside of Sanjaya to bring any kind of non-singing sparkle to the show has been given the hook.

Haley Scarnato (L) shows a sigh of relief after Chris Sligh (R) is eliminated on AMERICAN IDOL Wednesday

Sligh man, why oh why did you try to do No Doubt’s “Don’t Speak”? It was a song obviously beyond your reach. We’ll miss you, and your saucy style.

And yes, we heard you when you loudly whispered to Phil Stacey that he owed you 50 bucks. Apparently, Phil believed he was set to go before you did.

Don’t worry Phil. There’s always next week.

As for the Sanjaya freight train, or should I say fright train?, it’s still going strong. We don’t mind if he stays on the show while the bottom and middle rung people are voted off.

Please, just stop the insanity before we get to Melinda, LaKisha, Jordin, Blake and even Chris.

Last night, Simon looked at Sanjaya and said, “It doesn’t really matter what we say anymore.”

That’s right Simon. The Sanjaya train is on the track and barrelling through this competition.

So I’ve decided to take another view of Sanjaya. To tell you the truth, without the Sanjaya factor, it would be a rather dull season.

Mr. Pony-Hawk has little singing talent, but he’s great when it comes to entertainment.

PONY BOY

First, let’s say how great Gwen Stefani was last night. She looked fabulous (where can we find that top?) and her comments were spot on. She gave a little shrug when it came to Sanjaya. She knows he’s become the clown in the circus.

GWEN LOOKED GREAT

And she acknowledged that both Melinda and LaKisha don’t really need her help, although I think everyone can use a little Stefani in their life.

I still love Melinda’s voice, but her aw-shucks attitude is getting a little stale. Embrace your talent and go a little diva. Time to shed the meek and start adding some dazzle.

And LaKisha needs to get some personality into her performances.

If you want to put a little more Sanjaya into your life, check out www.sanjayafannetwork.com.

Web master Clint says “ It was designed with the hopes that we can all influence American Idol and make an otherwise dull season more interesting and perhaps see if Simon Cowell will really quit.”

I don’t want Simon to quit, but a little tweaking is always fun.

If “American Idol” was really a singing competition, then Sanjaya would have gotten the boot tonight.

His performance on Tuesday of “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” wasn’t even good enough for an elementary school talent contest. When he reached up high and squatted down low, it’s was cookie-tossin’ time.

So who got bumped tonight?

The bottom three were called out: Sanjaya, Phil and Brandon.

We had no problem with the voters’ bottom three until the person being elminated was called out and it was Brandon.

Well, at least Sanjaya didn’t forget the words the way Brandon did on Tuesday. Brandon was one of the early bright lights who dimmed significantly as he constantly made poor song choices.

BRANDON ROGERS

Good-bye Brandon. Would that it was Sanjaya we were bidding adieu.

Does Sanjaya Malakar have some mysterious mojo going or what?

Clearly, he was the worst of the bunch this week, yet Breck Boy was spared by voters who decided to pop him into the final dozen.

Perhaps it was his newly straighten locks.

Or seeing him do the hula.

Still, even dirty Internet pictures couldn’t save the vocally challenged Antonella Barba, who got the boot despite being one of the most Googled contestant perhaps in the history of the show.

ANTONELLA SANG CORINNE BAILEY RAE’S “PUT YOUR RECORDS ON”

There had been ample speculation that Antonella would slip into the final 12 just on the basis of her looks. But she proved less resilient than the aforementioned Sanjaya.

Clearly from the judges’ perspective this week, the other woman who needed to go was Haley Scarnato. Simon said that he had to ask Paula what her name was because he honestly couldn’t remember it.

Apparently, the voters didn’t share Simon’s lack of recall.

Instead, they lopped off the Barbra Streisand look-alike Sabrina Sloan, who hit it hard each week and appeared to be a shoo-in.

SABRINA SANG EN VOGUE’S “DON’T LET GO”

Also getting the hook this week was Jared Cotter, who proved to be a little too cheesy for the voters.

JARED SANG STEVIE WONDER’S “IF YOU REALLY LOVE ME”

And finally, just when we thought we’d see the last of Sunjaya, the name called out was Sundance Head.

SUNDANCE SANG PEARL JAM’S “JEREMY”

Sundance has had his problems in the competition, but we didn’t think it was quite his time to go yet.

As for the big announcement “American Idol” has been touting all week, it turns out that “American Idol” is ready to share the wealth with those less fortunate.

“American Idol” will helping poverty-stricken people throughout the world including Africa and America.

On April 24 and 25, for every vote viewers cast, an equal amount of money will be donated to the charity. In addition, show sponsors Coca-Cola, Ford and AT&T, among others will donate money to the Chairty Projects Entertainment Fund.

The fund will distribute the money to Save the Children and other U.S. organizations dealing with poverty in this country. CPEF will also distribute proceeds to the U.S. Fund for UNICEF and other organizations involved with health and education programs in Africa.

Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest meet school children in Africa.

On April 25, the Wednesday results show expands to two hours, with entertainment provided by such celebrities as Gwen Stefani, Josh Groban, Pink, Michael Buble, Annie Lennox, Il Divo and Borat (Sacha Baron Cohen).

Well, maybe a small surprise that Sanjaya is still around.

Guess that just goes to the power of good hair, or the appeal of androgynous-looking boys to girls with speedy dialing fingers.

Did you notice that two of the people who were eliminated sang the same song?

Honestly, the competition is Melinda Doolittle and LaKisha Jones, with Stephanie Edwards following closely. Not a single guy can match what the top two have already shown us.

Still, I’ve got a soft spot for Chris Sligh and hope he makes it into the finals.

Tonight, Nick Pedro was eliminated. He sang Peggy Lee’s “Fever”

Alaina Alexander sang the Dixie Chicks’ “Not Ready to Make Nice”

A.J. Tobaldo, who did so well this week singing Nina Simone’s “Feeling Good”

And Leslie Hunt, who also chose the ill-fated tune “Feeling Good.”

Bah-bye.

Not that you asked, but Death Valley was much more entertaining than the name would suggest.

Talk about a real Death Valley, let’s get down to the first day of “American Idol” competition. Most of the singers left me with the “THIS is all you could come up with after all those auditions????”

First off, put your shoes on Paul Kim. It’s not endearing, it’s annoying.

And how did you go from being from Saratoga to San Jose? We’re still thinking that pool technician from Saratoga just means you’re cleaning your parents’ pool while trying to hit the big time.

Still, we’re willing to give Paul another week to show us his stuff. The judges say he’s got the best voice in the competition. Maybe you have to be in the auditorium…

Who knew the guy we’d like the best would be Beat Box Blake? He really showed off the pipes. Our top five picks right now are Blake, Chris R., Jared, Phil and Chris S. because he’s got spunk and we like spunk.

We’ll give Brandon an honorable mention.

But it’s way past time for Sanjaya to go home. We’ll get it out now. He’s our No. 1 pick for exile island. It’s creepy the way he smiles nervously while his eyes dart around like a wildlife caught in the cross-hairs.

Second is Mr. Knights in White Satin. What the hell were you thinkin’ Sundance?

Now, it’s time to gear up for the girls tonight.